My Appreciation

So many of you have been such a constant support to me and have been with me on this journey for a while or some of you are new Forever Friends. Many of you have been praying for me and are alwasy there. I know i don't have time I would like to spend in just telling you about what God is doing in my life and how YOUR prayers are impacting it and to hear what God is doing in your life. So i decided to type one of my prayer journal entry for you. I hope you read it and realize how much each and everyone of you means to me and I love you all:

Written Thursday January 21st, 2010



My Forever Love,

This week is going to be tough. So much to do Lord, and I thought last week was an adventure. Can I possible love and serve all these people in one week? While still keeping up with school and everything else?? I have things planned on the same day and same time. Not only all that but you always end up throwing unexpected things in my life as well. I can’t lie to you the call/task for the week is overwhelming! But I know that I am living within Your Will and Plan for my life. I don’t know how it will all work out but I know it will. You have NEVER failed me. You always come through.
(So I’m going to lay out Lord everything that is on my heart)

“Keep doing impossible things. As God asks you for more, He continues to meet each need with impossible strength, energy, and love.”

I love this quote! I’m pretty sure it’s someone’s paraphrase of a bible verse. I see the truth of the quote in my everyday life. Often people ask me how I do it, and the answer is so simple – I don’t. a little coffee and a WHOLE LOT of Jesus. This plan, these “accomplishments”, they are SO no my own.

People ask me if I ever feel overwhelmed. When I answer yes, they ask me why, then, don’t I scale back. I want to scream back WHAT! This is not a business; I can’t just make some cuts. We are talking about people’s LIVES! How could you ask me who gets to receive my love and service! It’s like asking a mom to pick one of her children to get rid of.

I didn’t choose this life, these people, or this ministry: God gave them to me. I chose to love. I chose God. Therefore, no matter how impossible it seems or how overwhelming it looks like when I try to plan how I’m going to do all of it. I always remember…

I’m not going to do anything except follow God wherever he takes me, obey Him (no matter the costs), and love with all my heart. God takes care of everything else! I would be lying if I said I always know God will come through or I always completely trust God. My flesh clouds my heart sometimes. But even though my faith is small God still ALWAYS comes through!

It’s absolutely amazes me that He loves me so and believes in me enough to use me in the ways that He does and I’m only 16! It completely blows my mind. That He fills me with so much wisdom, and entrusts me with so much when the world just sees me as an ordinary teenage girl: because I am just a ordinary teenage girl. But it’s like you look at me and see so much more. It makes no sense that the Almighty Creator: powerful, holy, and breathtakingly beautiful, who could easily do all this himself chooses to work through a weak, sinful teenage girl all because she uttered two years ago ...”I believe…send me…use me…transform and mold me…I’m willing”.

And ever since then my life has been turned upside down and life as I had known it changed forever. Here are some things that I have experienced since I said those words:

I have witnessed miracles (YES they still happening! Everyday right before our eyes we either aren’t looking or not believing), feels the presence of angel’s surround me in times of trouble or grief, taking to people and saying profound things then getting in my car and thinking: did I really just say all that? , seeing You work and transform the people around me (the most beautiful thing), seeing the power of prayer daily, precious time with You, every sunshine and raindrop, God’s presence in my life exploding from my heart: God is so big that I can’t contain it and it explodes out of me. Everyday getting to learn, grow and laugh. Everyday loving until you think you might burst and being loved back. Crying over the 147 million orphans in the world. Rejoicing with heaven when a soul is saved. Children calling me Miss Heidi or Momma H , not being able to sleep at night because I know there are 1 BILLION people going to bed hungry and I’m laying in my warm bed with a full stomach. …and seeing God everywhere I turn!

This is only the beginning. I said 12 words that didn’t even make a complete sentence. They weren’t profound. The ground didn’t shake after I said them but my life sure did. All this came out of those words a 14 year old girl said crying on her bedroom floor one night. Impossible you say?….not for God.

I obviously don’t live a normal teenage girl life…Elizabeth Elliot explains it best when she said…

“The preoccupations of young women – their looks, their clothes, and their social life – don’t seem to change much from generation to generation. But in every generation there are a few who make other choices. “

Here are the choices I have chosen for my life
*Love God
*Love people
*Follow Jesus
*leave earth a little more like heaven.

Don’t ask me if I have taken on more than I can handle – I’m just trying my best to love in the middle of God’s plan for me. Don’t ask me how everything gets done – I HAVE NO IDEA! But I know it will. Don’t ask me if I might “cut back” - because I won’t. God is up there begging us to get off our couches and I am trying to do so.

Don’t think I’m mad God at the people around me who just don’t get it. Does it hurt…yes. I’m I frustrated..yes. Does it break my heart…yes. I pray Father that you will open their eyes and soften their hearts. But you have also blessed me with an incredible, authentic, and beautiful support system that loves me to death and prays for me constantly. I know this because I can FEEL their prayers. I believe with all my heart that prayer moves mountains and mends hearts. I look around. Mountains are moving. Hearts are mending. They are a part of that!! I hope they know their love is matched back and I pray constantly for each of them as well. Its relationships and fellowship the way you created it to be simply beautiful…a little piece of heaven on earth

Love Your Forever Servant