Part 2: The Truth

I will start off by saying that I absolutely did NOT want to write this post; and as always God had other plans. Let just say writing this has humbled me in ways only God can….

“But there is a spirit within people, the breath of the Almighty God within them, that makes them wise” ~Job 32:8
God’s spirit, His breath, is within me. It is what fills every inch of my heart. It is what gives me the ability to love and serve and most of all it is what speaks through me (or writes). My source of strength and wisdom comes from the Almighty God. I totally understand what Corrie Ten Boom is felling when she said, “Sometimes I get a headache from the heat of the halo that people put around my head”. People continue to believe that somehow everything I do is something out of my own strength or ability. Or that every convicting blog I write is from my own wisdom.

Well…let me tell you what the REAL Heidi Johnson is like. She absolutely HATE’s when things do not go the way she plans them in her head. Everyday she struggle with these verses…
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails ~Proverbs 19:21

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD ~Isaiah 55:8

“Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what You will” ~Mark 14:36

The REAL Heidi Johnson would rather wake up early to go to Starbucks and depend on her grande peppermint mocha to give her the energy to get through the day instead of waking up early to do a morning devotion to trust and depend on Jesus to give her all the energy and strength she will need.

The REAL Heidi Johnson knows that there are TONS of innocent children that are dying due to sever malnutrition and eating out of dumpsters. Children who don’t know the Gospel or that they have a Heavenly Father that so deeply loves them. Children who are unloved and are longing for a forever family. Children that have to grow up way to soon in order to take care of their family because their parents died of AIDs. Children who are forced into sexual slavery or child soldiers...

At the end of the day, even though she know all of this, the REAL Heidi Johnson wonders if these children are really worth leaving a comfortable lifestyle, a life where she has every worldly thing going for her, a life where she is living the “American Dream”. These children’s situations break her heart but she is too selfish to give up her “perfect” worldly life to pour out love and share the Gospel with these children. But, it does sound nice to talk about giving up her life for them. However, deep down she knows she doesn’t have the courage to actually do it.

The REAL Heidi Johnson is lazy, selfish, and has a massive ego. The good news is that Jesus Christ IN Heidi Johnson is the total opposite of all of these things. Jesus in Heidi Johnson knows what to do with her shortcomings and sins. She knows when you confess them to God, Jesus Christ washes them in HIS Blood that He shed on the cross. They are forever cast into the deepest sea. And Heidi Johnson gets to stand before God as white as snow.
Jesus in Heidi Johnson stays up all night to pray on behalf of the atheist man she met at Starbucks; begging God for a second chance to get to meet him again and share the Gospel with him. Jesus in Heidi Johnson can say and write things that even leave her in awe and inspired. Jesus in Heidi Johnson gives her the confidence to trust that God works everything out for the good of those who love Him and that she doesn’t need to worry or even make plans.
Jesus in Heidi Johnson reminds her that there is energy and strength that He longs to fill her with that no sugary $4 mocha can ever give her. Jesus in Heidi Johnson knows that it doesn’t matter if everyone thinks she’s crazy and has lost her mind because she is always posting “Jesus Blogs”. Jesus in Heidi Johnson tells her that her life is only completely full, joyful and fulfilled when she gives it up for the least in the world. And finally Jesus in Heidi Johnson tells her that in her weakness, she is made strong through Him.

My friends, hear me out, we are ALL sinners who need to understand the most powerful and beautiful love that was EVER shown on this earth. Jesus Christ died to lift us out of this horrible, ugly and dead life of sin, selfishness, and ego and instead into His wonderful LIGHT!

For you are a chosen people, belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light ~1 Peter 2:9

The bible calls the REAL Heidi Johnson self or flesh…
“Jesus said to them, if anyone wants to be my follower, he must deny self, pick up his cross daily and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake *(like say…to love on broken, unloved children)*, you will save it. ~Luke 9:23-24 (the * part added by me)

This 5 part series is called Answering the call to embark on the Set Apart Adventure. The Set Apart Adventure is following Jesus. Honestly, it is the adventure of a lifetime. But Luke 9:23-24 says that in order to answer this call and start embarking on this adventure we MUST deny self (in my case the REAL Heidi Johnson), pick up my cross daily (notice that it says daily…this is a conscious decision we must make every morning) and only then can we follow Jesus and embark on the Adventure.

“God rescued me from the grave and now my life is filled with LIGHT” ~Job 33:28

God rescued my soul from an eternal death and has given me the gift (seriously, it’s a gift…I did absolutely nothing to deserve it) of a forever life with Him in Heaven. Not only that but He has saved me from living a “dead” life on earth filled with darkness and only focused on self. He instead has OVERFLOWED my life with His wonderful light! This light comes from Jesus living in your heart. He teaches you how to truly be alive! Jesus wants to live in your heart. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock” He says, “If anyone opens the door, I’ll come in”.

Will you open the door of your heart and let Jesus come in, change you, and fill you with His wonderful light??

Part 1~ Creating a Holy Temple

God has given me a five part series to write called: Answering the Call to embark on a Set-Apart Adventure. The first part of this series is Cleaning and Preparing the Sanctuary /Temple for the Most High King. Before I start I want to tell you why I do this. Why I blog. Why I take the time to pray throughout this whole process and truly make sure that everything I write is exactly what God has asked me to write…

Honestly, I can’t stop writing. The Holy Spirit puts something so strongly on my heart and it’s impossible for me to not do my best to put it in words. I can’t turn it off. At least God hasn’t turned it off yet. I go through situations, I go through experiences, I see everyday miracles, and I go through life with my sweet Savior, Jesus Christ. Lately, God has been opening my eyes to the Heavenly realm and the spiritual battle surrounding us. I NEED to write it, all of it…it’s like breathing.

I was prinking (praying and thinking biblically or meditating on scripture) a month ago on a simple, campfire worship song called Sanctuary. It was the main chorus that was running through my head: “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary. Pure and holy, tired and true. With Thanksgiving I’ll be a living Sanctuary for you”. I just sang that part over and over to myself and let it sink deep into my heart. And then I realized, as Christians we are to be living temples or Sanctuary’s. The Most High King wants to dwell within us! It is an amazing truth.

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him, For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are. -- 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

I started to pray to God about how grateful I was that He is dwelling within me and is therefore with me wherever I go. But then God whispered to my heart, “Heidi, yes I am dwelling within you but it is SO messy in here. Sin, worldly desires, unforgiveness, bitterness, and pride are cluttering and defiling this temple that is supposed to be a Holy place! It is time for some much needed summer cleaning”

I was so taken aback by what God said! God, how do I possibly begin cleaning my inner temple to make it fit for a King? I started to look around my room. I could barely see the floor. It was quite a horrible sight to see…it looked like my closet exploded, my desk was stacked a mile high with papers, there was a mountain of books my by bed, old mugs half filled with two day old peppermint tea, and my walls were over crowded with pictures and random things: the area as a whole was extremely overwhelming!

“Look around your room my precious daughter, this disorderliness and messiness is what your inner temple feels like for me. Start with cleaning up your earthly sanctuary and I will teach you during that process how to clean your inner temple!”

Jesus is my Solid Rock, my Cornerstone. I am always amazed at how He fills me with SO much wisdom and understanding right when I need it most. So quickly either in written words or spoken; He always puts the right words in my mouth or heart.



The process of cleaning your inner (and physical) temple is time consuming, scary, and EXTREMELY messy…you are being forewarned!! However, it is always, always necessary. Because remember that as Christians throughout our whole lives God is molding us to be more like Jesus. It is a beautiful process of being refashioned into an utterly new creation.

When I was cleaning my room I had three boxes; keep, throw away, and donate. Cleaning your inner temple is the same process. I prayerfully went before God and let Him clean; let HIM choose what needed to go, what needed to stay, and what needed to be given away. For example, my devoted time in the morning and night for bible and prayer time needed to stay. On the other hand, my unforgiveness needed to go.
*A quick side note: unforgiveness is an extreme spiritual poison. It NEEDS to be gone as soon as possible, it is so harmful. I love what Corrie Ten Boom says on forgiveness, “I could not do it [forgive]. I was not able. Jesus in me was able to do it. You see, you never touch so much the ocean of God’s love as when you love those who hurt you”.*
This was the prayer I prayed to get rid of the unforgiveness: Father, clear my heart from any jealousy or unnecessary hurt. You have other plans for me. Plans for good and not harm. You have something custom designed for me. I can trust fully in you!

Something that had to be given away (donated) was all that God had been showing me the past year. I often times get scared to share the things that God reveals to me…mainly for fear of rejection, but God does not want me to keep it to myself but to proclaim it on the mountain tops and tell of the wonders of our God. (For those curious readers: Yes, that is another reason why I am writing this five part series)

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health my fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart. He is mine FOREVER!...How good is it to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do. ~Psalm 73:25-26:28

I want to be able to say…”I desire you more than anything on earth…” and truly mean it and have that truth reflect in my life. God is the strength of my heart and my first and forever love. He has been my shelter during every one of life’s storms and raindrop moments. My prayer is that God continues to fill me with boldness to not let fear stop me from sharing the wonderful things He has done in my life. I long to know Jesus, serve Jesus, and to become more like Jesus.

During this time of cleaning and preparing my body to be a living temple for the King of kings and Lord of lords; David’s plea to God became the cry of my heart…”Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” ~Psalm 139: 23-24

Now I have inner temple that is fit for my sweet Jesus and a clean room which is my earthly sanctuary and temple where I go away to meet with God. A room for bible studies, devotions, prayer, journaling and writing, TONS of prinking, worship...and it even has become a place where God presence has been dwelling so strongly because I have been keeping it clean, not polluted by the world (that's right ABSOLUTELY NO teen magazines , Z100,etc allowed in my room) it is always ready to be used to meet with God that my sister uses my room for her devotion time too!





After this season of my life I can candidly say that…

“I am one of the rare and nearly extinct breed of God lovers who still lives and breathes what she believed back then. Only now it is more real than ever because it’s in me. God’s Spirit is in me, changing me. Not just around me, influencing me.”

Beauty in Brokeness

“The truth of the matter is...LIFE IS HARD. We do not choose our lives. If you are truly living by faith and relying on Jesus Christ, then does it really matter if life is hard? or accepted? or pleasing to others? NO, it only matters to Christ and Christ alone. So, the bottom line...who are you here to serve?” ~Anonymous

Being real with you all: it was a tough night in the Johnson household yesterday. Satan and the sinful flesh inside everyone seemed to be running around wild and out of control. Selfishness was the heart of the problem for all of us. However, there were also uncontrollable events (that life always seems to through at you) that set off this very unpleasant night.

Yet, on nights like yesterday, I always remember two important things:

1) To trust God, knowing He will see me through!

Perhaps faith is like that—it is not easy. But, in a way, it is very simple. We cannot do it by ourselves, that is obvious. But when we turn to Lord God Jehovah, he gives us what we are lacking—faith. That is exactly where I am tonight. It is not easy. Nothing about this day has been easy. But I will not make it through the night without faith. Please Lord, increase my faith that I might survive until morning. (Three Days, by Melody Carlson)

2) That we serve a God who takes broken things and broken people and transforms them into something beautiful and whole.

God is seriously an expert at using some of my darkest and tough nights and situations and using them for my good and for advancing His Kingdom here on Earth. Yesterday it was VERY obvious that I didn’t deny self…my pride and selfishness were on full parade in my life. And let me tell you that can quickly make a mess of things. By the time I realized what I had forgotten to do (deny my self and let Christ sit at the throne of my day) the damage was done. Throw in some unfortunate circumstances and three other people and you have a huge disaster just waiting to happen.

By the end of the night, I was on my face just begging God for forgiveness. I know that when I live for myself and my sinful desires it breaks God’s heart. But last night I could feel that I was hurting Him. I have never felt that way before. That very feeling is what brought me to my knees last night, just crying out for forgiveness. I HATE hurting God. Yet, the moment I cried out for forgiveness that horrible feeling was immediately gone. Instead, it was replaced by His supernatural grace, love, and patience.

Honestly, God shows me so much patience: especially when He has to remind me of something that He has taught or showed me a million times—like denying self everyday. He pours our His patience and all the resources of Heaven to help me fight and conquer the sin in my life. Last night it was the strength and power that I have from Christ that crucified my prideful and selfish heart and put Jesus Christ back on the throne of my heart.

Last night I remembered that God’s grace is deeper than the deepest ocean. And that no matter how far away we are from God, His love goes farther still! PRAISE THE LORD!!

Here is a quote from the book I am reading right now called, Under the Overpass, by Mike Yankoski. (I highly recommend this book; it is about the adventures of two college guys who choose to be homeless for six months to see if Jesus is truly everything they say He is)
“For some reason, I hardly ever admitted when things weren’t going well. Instead, I usually glossed over my struggles with an easy cliché like “it’s all good” or “hanging in there” and thought nothing of it. Psalm 34:18 says “The LORD is close to the broken-hearted.” I wonder if pretending you’re not broken keeps God at a distance.”
You need to realize your brokenness to truly understand your need for a Savior. How desperately we all need Jesus Christ in our lives and to praise God for His amazing love and power to use broken people and transform them over time to be more and more like Him. It is absolutely beautiful! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Jesus!!
Father, let me keep coming before you as the broken and sinful person we both know I am. Make me whole and new. Please, don’t let me EVER think that I can make it on my own and that I don’t need you to make me whole. Oh how I need you!! In order to be made new and whole I must constantly come before your throne and ask you to transform me to be more like Jesus. Less of me and more of YOU! Amen