How wonderful to be in the hands of the living God. It is the adventure of a lifetime! ~Corrie Ten Boom

Friday, July 30, 2010

Truly, the "harvest is plenty and the laborers are few"

I do not know the man that wrote this but I received it today. All I know is that I know the feeling that Chad writes about...about seeing the church playing in the river and seeing the lonely Christ all alone working in the fields and being in between him and the church. Hearing the cries of those who have not been helped or heard the good news of salvation. Please read this and share it. We need to respond...we need to take up our cross and be those that are helping Christ in the fields of the fatherless, the fields of the lost....

This has really changed me. I cannot begin to put it in words! It is long, but I PROMISE you it's worth every minute you give to read it...

Chad Taylor:
A Panoramic Vision of THE Harvest
I have had this repeated vision over and over the last 22 years since I was saved. I saw impressions of it when I walked across America in 1990 with only a sleeping bag and a "Jesus Saves" sign blazed across my backpack in neon red. I saw the vision while walking the streets of this nation's largest cities long after midnight.

It engraved itself in my consciousness as I preached on the streets of Seattle at the age of 18 with only the homeless and the gutter as my congregation. I have seen the same vision while ministering in the sultry south on the mean streets of Atlanta where racism and religion still prevail. Over and over the past 22 years this panoramic vision of "the harvest" has left its enduring mark on my soul, and finally I am to make it plain. Make it plain so that those that read it can run—run into this field the Bible calls, "The Harvest."

Vision of the Field
I saw a field going on endlessly as far as the eyes could see. It reminded me of the gravity of Abraham's vision in Genesis when God said, "Then He brought him outside and said, "Look now toward Heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them" (Genesis 15:5). That's how boundless this harvest field was. It stretched on in every direction, until it left you dizzy with the sheer magnitude of it all.

As I continued to look down the endless rows of wheat, I saw as it were a figure far off in the distance, working. The heat waves coming from the hard-packed ground made it difficult to see, so I stepped into the field to look closer. I glanced down at the furrows and rows and I noticed much of the ground was hard-packed and fallow, yet other smaller parts were dark with fertile soil and tilled. Large sections of the field that I could see from my vantage point were unharvested, and the ground showed signs of neglect—fallow, hard and dry.

I continued to walk toward the figure that I had first noticed deep in the field. I heard a peculiar sound as if it were coming from all directions. Like a distant whine or a baby crying? I stopped to listen more closely. I heard it more audibly now as I paused—it was a mournful cry, like someone weeping. As I listened more intently, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "It's the cry of the harvest; a forgotten, abandoned harvest—like a baby left discarded from its mother!"

I could clearly hear the mourning and crying from this wide harvest field as if it was crying out to be redeemed, accepted and received. I was shaken and my heart broke as I heard the pitiful cry of the harvest all around me. The words of Job sounded like a crashing cymbal in my spirit, "O earth, do not cover my blood; may my cry never be laid to rest!" (Job
16:18). This harvest of disquieted souls refused to be discounted, and their plaintive cry came before me.

Vision of the River
I continued walking and the cry from the harvest seemed to wane; it appeared that the figure in the field was now even farther away. As I continued to walk down the rows which were mostly dry and cracked, unexpectedly I caught the scent of water. I abruptly turned toward the breeze that carried the smell of fresh water wafting through the air and I began to run toward it. I pushed through row after row of heavy-laden stocks of wheat bent over and bowing low to the ground. I sprung right through one more row, and there it was—the river.
I was taken aback in this series of endless rows of grain and then, abruptly, this gurgling river. Before I could run and leap into the cold water, drinking from its welcoming shore, I looked at what was before me and I was still. In the river and along its sides were hundreds if not thousands of men, women and children jumping, swimming and laughing.

I yelled from where I was near the edge of the harvest field only a few dozen yards away, but they could not hear me. The people were deaf to my cries as if I was not even present. Didn't they see the figure working in the distance all alone? Didn't they hear the despairing cry coming from the very field that was all around them? Didn't they see the massive field that was left unattended and forgotten? Couldn't they see me just a stone's throw away, waving my hands and shouting? Some were even gazing intently into the river as if they were hypnotized by its ebb and tide. It was uncanny.

A Sudden Anguish Swept Over Me at a Revelation of the Immense Labor Left Undone
The river was so intoxicating and appealing, it took a great deal of effort not to be drawn closer by its strong allure and promise of refreshing. I was about to step in closer when the sound of crying and mourning grew louder. The cry of the harvest pierced my heart again and I turned back toward the field. I saw the lonely figure in the now-setting horizon and was determined to forge ahead.

I looked back one more time at the crowds and the river. I was amazed that they were somehow completely unaware of the vast expanse of field that surrounded them on both sides. The persistent cry of the harvest could not reach their ears; either because of the festivities or a mystery that I did not understand. I tried shouting again and pointing toward the figure alone in the field, but no one even glanced at me or heard.

A sudden anguish swept over me at a revelation of the immense labor left undone as the field stretched out for endless miles around me. Solomon, in his equally endless wisdom wrote, "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under Heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I knew beyond any doubt at this moment it was time to labor. The fields were ready. They were ripe.

I called to mind another Scripture that leapt from the pages of the Bible, "Whoever gathers in the summer is a wise son. Whoever sleeps at harvest time brings shame..." (Proverbs 10:5). Lord, never let me be put to shame!

Vision of the Headstone
I finally turned my back on the river and took in the rich harvest anew before me. Jesus' exhortation to His early disciples in Matthew 9:37-38 was now in striking clarity as I gazed out at the field, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest." I asked myself that very moment, "Lord, did I forget to pray?"

I began to walk doggedly toward the lonely figure, at times stopping because of the heat. Then unexpectedly, I stumbled upon what seemed like a stone or some kind of marker off ahead in the dirt. It looked like a carved stone or rock, apparently there for some inherent purpose. I noticed bouquets of flowers, all kinds of memorabilia and small personal items scattered around. As I drew up closer I knew what it was—a grave marker like in a cemetery, and clearly inscribed on it were the words, "The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved" (Jeremiah 8:20).

I was aghast. Below this agonizing inscription I saw specific years of the calendar etched in its stone: 1610, 1689, 1705, 1790, 1830, 1875, 1920, 1945, 1970, 1989, 2000 and so forth. Other dates were recorded below but were worn and illegible. I knew what they were—times and seasons, dates and generations where a great cycle of harvest had come upon the earth and had not been seized; a kairos moment that had come and gone.

One More Date Was Carved in the Headstone: 2020
At the very top of the marker was one more number as if it had just been cut into the stone—2020. I was cognizant in that moment that through the years of 2000 to 2020 was another divine cycle or season for the harvest of souls in the earth. We are in the middle of that cycle now in 2010. 2020 was a divine mile-marker in the world's history and also a great signpost for Heaven as well. I dropped to my knees right there in the field and cried aloud, praying, "Lord, send out laborers! Lord, here am I. Send me!"

Flowers and trinkets adorned the headstone as if generation after generation had paid homage to times past, rather than seizing the moments that they had then. Historic opportunities had come to win the world to Christ but had passed them by. I was melancholy and sad as I watched this memorial stone fade behind me while I continued to walk deeper into the field.

What I saw next was unforgettable: The headstone was now only a memory when out of the heat-waves and swaying wheat I saw an angel and a woman.

Vision of the Angel and the Woman
The woman was dressed in what appeared to be Biblical-era clothing and was gleaning in the field behind what was clearly an angel. Her faded lavender dress was laden with wheat as she filled a large basket beside her. A red sash was around her waist. I knew exactly who it was—Ruth! The Ruth I had been recently reading about and ministering from in the Bible. That vivid illustration in God's Word where Ruth followed the reapers in Boaz's field was right there before me. I remembered the Scripture in Ruth that stated, "And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers" (Ruth 2:3).

It was such a sight to see the angel a few yards ahead of her with a scythe cutting the wheat in bushels. They both worked in tandem, reaping the wheat seamlessly in a synchronized motion as if it was rehearsed. I stared in awe at this amazing sight and I knew it was prophetic; a divine message played out in this drama unfolding before me. Then the words of Jesus in Matthew added one more stroke to this masterpiece I was beholding, "The harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels" (Matthew 13:39).

Ruth is a picture of an end-time Church following the Kingdom of God into the fields of nations, preparing the way of the Lord. A time was now upon us that we would work with the angels of Heaven invisibly in the immense field that lies before this present generation. Heaven and earth would work in unprecedented unison to see it reaped.

I remembered in Jewish tradition that on every Pentecost the book of Ruth is read. On Pentecost in the Upper Room when they were waiting on the promise of the Holy Spirit's power that would take them around the world, the story of Ruth was repeated. As I stood in this vision, I saw it too. We are the Bride that would find her Boaz, her Christ, in the threshing floor of nations. That's where the lovers of God would truly be found. I prayed that He would find me there, too—in the field.

Vision of the Clouds
Abruptly and without warning, a dark cloud came down blackening the air with strange smells and acrid smoke. I was nearly blinded, my eyes watering as this strange cloud descended. It took all of my senses not to give into a sudden feeling of drowsiness; my eyes grew heavy and I could barely walk. I was like a drunken man weaving back and forth in between the rows of wheat, staggering. Voices came from somewhere in the smoke; it sounded strangely like music, and then at other times it was incoherent. I was disoriented and confused, and I desperately tried to find my way out of the cloud.

As this disturbing experience continued, a specific Scripture arrested me, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41).

I fell to my knees as this terrible smoke swirled around me, and I began to pray loudly, "Lord, here am I, send me! Lord, lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil!" As I continued praying, a breeze which transformed into a gust of wind began to blow and the cloud retreated. I knew this wind was the "Ruach HaKodesh" or the Spirit of God. This was the same wind that brought the dead bones to life in Ezekiel and the same wind that blew through the Upper Room and sent them outward to the uttermost parts of the world. It was that same Spirit which was clearing the dark smoke from the air, now giving me a clear vision of the harvest field again and the lone figure in the distance. I had my senses back.

As I looked out again at the endless rows of wheat, I saw similar dark little clouds appearing, swirling. These clouds were distractions and mirages that caused many to withdraw or to simply freeze and do nothing. I recalled another Scripture as I stood where the cloud had once been only seconds ago, and I prayed it out loud, "(God) hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the Kingdom of His dear Son!" (Colossians 1:13).

Vision of the Saints
I continued to walk now with more resolve and I began to see large patches of field already reaped in sheaves. Every hundred yards or so I would come upon another swathe of harvest that was thoroughly cut down and laying in perfect piles of sheaves bound tightly in bundles. I marveled at the harvested portions of field and wondered out loud who could have done it. I looked more closely and I saw memorial markers or capstones near the middle of these cleared out areas. I walked up to one in particular in a very large and wide harvested area, and it read simply, "Corrie Ten Boom."

I walked on further and I read another capstone in a cleared area nearby, and it read, "William and Catherine Booth." Each area of field had a small memorial to the Christian that had harvested so diligently in it. Most of the names I had never heard of before. Others I had only heard or read before in books and memoirs such as, "Jim Elliot," "Hudson Taylor," and "D.L. Moody."

I continued to walk, observing each harvested area, and finally I stopped to pray in another clearing. I prayed out loud, "Lord, let there be a small memory of my work on this earth as well. Whether it is to be read by others or not, let my short life mean something even as these others before me have." I remembered the prayer of David and I said it out loud: "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is." (Psalm 39:4)

Vision of the Lonely Christ
I stubbornly left this last patch of harvested wheat, not wanting to depart, somehow thinking that one of these great harvesters would step out of the field to meet me. No one did. I was once again drawn to the lonely sentinel that worked in the field ahead. As I focused on the personage again, it didn't seem as far as it was before. I could now make out the face and appearance. It was Jesus. He was sweating and dirty, working vigorously and tirelessly. He looked up at me and wiped the sweat from His brow, and said, "So, pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."

He had such a sad look on His face, yet I knew He was happy to see me. I had pressed on and not been deterred even by the glorious things I had glimpsed—the river, the saints before me, the angels and the woman that harvested. I had pressed into the field even beyond the frightening cloud that had tried to stop me. He spoke again, "Awake you that sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light" (Ephesians 5:14). I was awake.

I knew this was a prophetic panorama of the great harvest of humanity that Jesus had spoken of in the Bible. It was also a stark revelation of the utter lack of laborers despite over 2,000 years of enterprise. Now after all that I had seen in this vision, nothing could compare to the lonely anguished look on Jesus' face as He invited me into "the fellowship of His suffering." I remembered in the garden of Gethsemane He had asked His disciples to pray with Him in that, His darkest hour. Now, He is not only requesting us to pray with Him but to work with Him in the harvest fields of the world—the colossal expanse of human life where the more than half of earth's populations has never even heard of or extolled the name of Jesus Christ.
As this vision was ending, Jesus stopped toiling for a moment and looked back at me with a look of kindness. He handed me His threshing instrument and said almost in a whisper, "Ask of Me, and I shall give you the heathen for your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession" (Psalm 2:8).
I bowed down greatly.

Chad Taylor
Consuming Fire Ministries
Email: info@consumingfire.com

Monday, July 26, 2010

In the Arms of Jesus


When I was reflecting this morning on all the extreme storms, testing, trials, and tons of raindrop days I have been through. I caught myself smiling and being totally grateful for it all. Because all those tough times forced me into the arms of my sweet Jesus—I had forgotten how beautiful a place it is to be in His arms. How much peace comes with being wrapped in His Presence. I learned some painful lessons, but they are lessons learned and mistakes, by God’s grace and power, I will not make again.

“But God had a purpose for this heartbreak experience…and it was through this, the death of my vision, the death of my way, that He really became even more real in my life”



The above quote was in a book I read recently and it spoke so deeply to my heart I had to share it! God has a purpose and plan for every heartbreak experience we have to face during our life here on earth. Whether it is due to your own mistakes or something life throws at you—He was a plan to use it to better you! Which goes to shows that my plans are not God’s plans. God control the pen of my life story.

The AMAZING thing is that even during our short comings, our mistakes, our sinful flesh: God is good. ALL THE TIME! Honestly, He makes ALL things work together for our (those who love and put their trust in Him) good! God even uses our brokenness and turns into something beautiful! He is God. He is good. He can do what He wants when He wants how He wants. He is God and He gives life. If God is for us, who can be against us? He is alive and working on our behalf at all times. He makes all things work together for our good.

“Simply put, if you are not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can’t be my disciple” ~Luke 14:33 MSG

I have been reading tons of convicting, soul stirring books and Scripture lately. It leaves a lot on my heart and mind that I need to process through. Fill me with your Spirit Father. I’m so done with myself. I want to be over with MY will, MY dreams, MY ideas, MY plans. I want YOU! All of You!

Absolute surrender is a daily decision. I need to keep fighting. Keep pressing on. Not with my own strength and energy but with God’s. Everything that I am learning and all the resources He has given me, is going to take all summer to work and pray through. This is a summer of solitude, serving and going deeper with Jesus. Where will that bring me to? I have no idea. But I have full confidence that He will guide me to what His will for me is. He will open doors and continue to show me what His plans for my life are.

As a result of all this, my prayer for this summer after such a trial filled spring is…



God, don’t let me go back to normal. Let me keep running towards You. I don’t want to think that I can make it on my own and leave the peace and strength that I have being in Your arms. To continue keeping my gaze--my eyes fixed on my precious Jesus. I love you dearly! I adore you! You are absolutely all I want. Make me ablaze for you like never before. I want to sparkle with Christ. Showcase the radiance of Christ. To have you consuming more of my life every day! Continue to give me the wisdom, strength and energy to process and really take in all that you are showing me during this season of serving and solitude. All praise, glory and honor to the wonderful name of the Most High King!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Ridin' Solo????



“Today God has called me to be content as a single. So today, I am going to be the happiest single alive!! I am going to accomplish the most for God that is possible because He walks at my side” ~ Melody.

Though the world would say I am “riding solo” that couldn’t be further from the truth. No, no, no I am not riding solo I am riding with God! God is what honestly makes me the happiest single alive. My God is sooo good! He is truly all I need. The Lord God is my everything. I love Him with every beat of my heart, every piece of my soul, every neuron in my mind, and every ounce of my strength. He is my Forever Love! An earthly love story would just be extra and only to be a reflection of the amazing love adventure I have with Jesus!

God has made me a radiant, purpose filled daughter of the Most High King! Jesus is the ONLY reason why the light of God dances in my eyes. HE put it there!! I think Leslie Ludy nails explaining God’s purpose for being single when she wrote:

“In your single years, more than ever, you have the ability to give your life for them; to pour out your time, energy, love, and resources to those that have God’s special favor…the poor (not just poor in money, but poor in spirit, love, hope…). Are you using this gift for the benefit of those in need, or are you wasting it on yourself?”



I believe God has a higher calling for me right now than spending all my time and energy trying to find “Mr. Right”. I will not sit around waiting for my Prince Charming! Instead I will embrace the fact that God wants to use me now! Yes, I believe that he has a beautiful earthly love story planned out for me. But I also believe that I don’t have to wait around for it! God wants me to allow HIM to live, love and touch lives through me right now and to continue to seek Him and find Him to be the GREATEST treasure in the world. Your relationship with the Lord is the most important thing! Everything else will flow out of it!

I started to believe that a Christ-built Warrior Poet man didn’t exist. But oh they sure do! God has been showing me that He has one out there for me somewhere. Maybe you are reading this and have absolutely no idea what I mean by a Christ-built Warrior Poet; well let me explain!

Before I start let me tell you that as a daughter of the King you should NOT (I repeat DO NOT) settle for anything less than a Christ-built Warrior Poet. Know that this person will make mistakes; this isn’t some fairy tale man who is absolutely perfect. However, this shouldn’t bother you because you already have your fairy tale story with a person who is absolutely flawless and loves you like no man on earth ever could…JESUS!

The characteristics of a Christ-built Warrior Poet are...he spends hours on his knees in private prayer and worship of our King, fights for the cause of the least and outcast of the world, pours out his life to build up the Kingdom of God, he will be the initiator and you will be the responder, he will have a deep love, passion and devotion for Christ. His confidence, strength and boldness will all come from God. It will be one constant adventure being with a Christ-built Warrior Poet. You could spend hours with a guy like this and leave not thinking about how great he is but how great GOD is! Just being around him will encourage you to grow closer with Jesus! He will be willing to pour out his life for Christ, but also can express and vocalize his heart and show sensitivity to your world. A Christ-built Warrior Poet is a leader, a man of integrity, selfless, courageous, and compassionate, a pursuer, a protector, an adventurer, a warrior, a world changer, a gentleman and has a personal and close relationship with Christ.



So there you have it…that’s what I believe when it comes to earthly love stories. God will write your love story in HIS perfect timing. But I also know that I may never have an earthly love story. And that is completely okay! I am totally satisfied with God alone. I know His plans for me are for my good. God is for me. Therefore, I will always trust his judgment and plans for my life.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Prinking


This week I have been a leader at my church’s Vacation Bible School. It is definitely what I love to do! Working with kids, loving on them and best of all teaching them about my beloved Savior!! Since I love it soo much I pour out every drop of my energy and love on these kids and I get wiped out. But every morning when I get up early to have my Jesus time before I leave for camp--God fills me right back up again! I have caught myself praying this week that He would show up to VBS and work through me as I love and teach these kids about Him. Then I realized today that I just need to keep breathing in His love and grace. To know I don’t have to pray for God to show up today because God has invited me to be apart of this ministry. Of course He will show up and lead me. This isn’t about me or what I’m doing. It is about God and HIS plans and will. I am just honored to be invited and come along for the ride and to have Him use me in all this.

“Too often we face our future not with a sense of who He is and what He is calling us to, but with who we are and what we are capable of”

I struggle back and forth with this is my faith walk. I know what I am good at; I know what I am passionate for, I know who I am. So I try to plan my life around this information and figure it must be what God wants. But that just isn’t always true. My life isn’t about me and accomplishing things out of my power and talents but God’s power and His plans. I am a planner. It just who I am. It is a great gift to have in ministry work because there is so much planning to be done. But I often carry that over into my life and have to have my life planned out. I need to know where I am going to college, what I am going to do, where I am going to travel…the list goes on and on. This summer I am learning to live each day to the fullest and to live ONE DAY AT A TIME! It sounds like an easy goal but it is honestly really hard.
I catch myself planning my life all the time. I think it has to be what God wants without ever really spend a lot of hours in prayer and reading and meditating on scripture. In other words, I didn’t prink about it very well. Prinking is one of my new favorite words. It is praying + thinking biblically (reading scriptures). I am trying to work on prinking about everything before I say yes to something or start planning. I find tons of comfort in this verse:

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” ~Proverbs 19:21

Oh Lord please let your purpose prevail in my life. If my plans don’t match with Yours then don’t let them happen. Am I truly following YOUR Will or am I doing my own will and calling it yours? Keep working in my life and heart to make Your plans, desires and dreams. My plans, desires and dreams.

Totally off topic but I want to share my beautiful God moment of the month! My mom was talking to my sick Great Grandmother in the hospital and telling her that I feel called to work with orphans around the world and to start my own non profit. She said it with a HUGE smile on her face and with her full support.

What a mega unexpected blessing that was! I knew that this life God has called me to would not be easy. I knew that people would disapprove and not understand. I always expected the worst. But I am just in amazement in how you have worked in my mom’s heart! Reminds me of this quote from missionary, Bethany Haley:

“Realizing more and more that I am less blown away at God’s hand in my life. Not because He is less amazing—but because I’m expecting His hand around every corner more and more.”

The meditations God has put on my heart this week! Will you join me in praying that we would make sure that we are following God’s plans and not our own?

Point out the road I must travel; I'm all ears, all eyes before You. Teach me how to live to please You because you're my God. ~Psalm143:8&10

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

GOD IS ABLE!


Raining cold morning today. So peaceful. Wearing an oversized sweatshirt and comfy yoga pants with my grande peppermint mocha from Starbucks in my hand as I watch the rain fall from Heaven. Beautiful! These are the mornings when I start to reflect on God’s Word and my life like crazy. Today I am prayerfully asking God to give me the courage to stand for the Truth, love radically, live fearlessly, speak boldly and to be obedient to His Will (no matter what)! I know that is asking a lot. But I fully believe that God is faithful to keep transforming and molding me to be more and more like that! You have to trust in God’s perfect plan, rely on His wisdom, strength and faithfulness in your life. Because the truth is He is doing such wonderful work through you! Satan will do everything in his power to convince you that it is not true.

So, let me choose JOY. Joy in persecution, in my hardships. Joy in knowing I’m doing my Father’s work no matter the cost. There is nothing on earth that compares to knowing and loving Jesus.

“You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in a greater depth and extent. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways.”

Let me lean and depend on You (God) for everything. Keep me humbled and let me spend more time on my knees in adoration prayer to You than having myself be given glory. Why would someone give a pot an award or praise for being so well made and useful? No, that is silly! You would give the award and praise to the Potter, the Creator of the pot. In the same way, I think it is extremely silly and ridiculous when people do that to me. I am just the pot. My prayer is that when I am given praise, awards, or recognition for something that I will immediately show them My Potter’s signature written on my heart. Because the truth is: I am not here to look good. I am not here to show anyone how to make good sound decisions. I am here to bring glory to God, to be less, so that He can be more in me and through me, to boast in my weaknesses. It is incredibly counter-flesh.

As of today Lord, you have called me to here to my Pacific Northwest hometown. Calling me to love the people you have put in my life here and to help them grow closer to You. I could leave to love on the people in Africa or Haiti. And I do believe that one day you will call me to do that. But as of now my job is to be right where I am; loving on the people here who You might inspire through me to do the same thing (going out into all the world to share the Good News and love of Jesus Christ).


CSU Prayer Night with my girls

As of now I am working on being an RN (registered nurse) by the time I am 20! To be able to actually know how to help spiritually AND physically hurting people all over the world. I am absolutely terrified of blood, guts etc but my passion to serve and help those who no one will help is more powerful than the fear. Nursing would NEVER in a million years be my first choice for a major but as I look back you have been shining a light on this path. It will not be easy. I am going to have to lean on you constantly to help me do it. But, I trust that if this is truly the path you want me to go on you will work everything out and give me all the strength I need. I can honestly say with all my heart that I believe I am exactly where you want me to be and doing what you have called me to do right now. I am more joyful and full of passion and a burning fire to love like never before!



My Bravehearted Hero, Jesus Christ, you are sooo good. You never let me down. Your love for me is constant and overflowing. I’m NEVER left questioning or confused about your love! My Forever Love, our adventurous, beautiful, fairy tale story is eternal!

I have seen first hand all that you can accomplish through me when I am obedient to your Will. I have learned the difficult but joyfully sweet process of coming day after day to the foot of your throne in prayer asking for wisdom or praying for hurting people. You have taught me how to have genuine, selfless, humble, and constant love for others. Keep revealing to me my calling with orphans and the unloved, sick, hurting children all around the world. They have stolen my heart. Is it possible to have your heart ache for children you don’t even know? YES! I feel it everyday.

Selfless, humble, constant love is a challenge—I believe it is impossible without God’s gift of a new heart.



God check my heart. Make sure in everything I do my heart is in the right place. That everything about me: my actions, words, choices, life would be a beautiful reflection of you. I want the heart of Jesus. What matters most is where your heart is at and I want my heart to be in your hands. You alone deserve to sit on the throne of my heart…it belongs to you. Jesus, if You have my heart you will impact all that flows out of it and I know the results will be incredible. Please, I BEG You, take my heart, mold it and change it make it more like Yours. I want to see you in everything! For you to always be on my mind, to seek you constantly! I want a heart that beats for the Lord with a love no one can take away.

How can I possibly love these orphans unless I am allowing the Lord to change my heart.
God will change my heart by dwelling within me. I cannot save and impact lives for the Kingdom, love fully, and restore and rescue all 147 million orphans around the world that hold my heart…BUT GOD IS ABLE! Live through me. Work through me. I am willing!

There are some days I can really feel the sting of the life I have chosen. It is a challenge. But soooo worth it. This is what it means to be a follower of Christ. Your love makes every hardship, struggle, fear, loss all completely worth it!



“The fact is NOTHING should concern us more than our relationship with God; it’s about eternity. And nothing compares with that. God is not someone who can be tacked on to our lives” ~Francis Chan

At the end of life, we will not be judge by our SAT scores, how high your GPA was, how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done; We will be judged by this: How we lived our lives, radically loving and serving others and loving God with everything realizing the world is nothing in comparison.

So two hours and my last sip of coffee later…I am left with this. All the above is what I have been learning and what God has been showing me. It feels good to write it all down. I don’t find a lot of time to just sit and write like this and as always there is just so much to say!! Now that it’s summer I will hopefully be able to write more. Because there is so much more on my heart that I need to write down. Writing is one of my love languages with God. How God has wired me to process things. It is cool that you get to be apart of this: a little peek into the window of my heart and my adventure and relationship with Jesus Christ! And so I leave you with this quote.

“You CANNOT meet the Creator of the Universe and remain the same. If the God who is all powerful, all knowing, and all present comes to dwell within your soul, you would expect at least some minor disruption. I think there’s a problem when people talk about meeting God or knowing God and yet, remain unchanged by God. When the Creator chooses to dwell within His creation there is transformation. If Jesus has come to dwell within you, you are no longer suited for a normal life.”