In the Arms of Jesus

When I was reflecting this morning on all the extreme storms, testing, trials, and tons of raindrop days I have been through. I caught myself smiling and being totally grateful for it all. Because all those tough times forced me into the arms of my sweet Jesus—I had forgotten how beautiful a place it is to be in His arms. How much peace comes with being wrapped in His Presence. I learned some painful lessons, but they are lessons learned and mistakes, by God’s grace and power, I will not make again.

“But God had a purpose for this heartbreak experience…and it was through this, the death of my vision, the death of my way, that He really became even more real in my life”



The above quote was in a book I read recently and it spoke so deeply to my heart I had to share it! God has a purpose and plan for every heartbreak experience we have to face during our life here on earth. Whether it is due to your own mistakes or something life throws at you—He was a plan to use it to better you! Which goes to shows that my plans are not God’s plans. God control the pen of my life story.

The AMAZING thing is that even during our short comings, our mistakes, our sinful flesh: God is good. ALL THE TIME! Honestly, He makes ALL things work together for our (those who love and put their trust in Him) good! God even uses our brokenness and turns into something beautiful! He is God. He is good. He can do what He wants when He wants how He wants. He is God and He gives life. If God is for us, who can be against us? He is alive and working on our behalf at all times. He makes all things work together for our good.

“Simply put, if you are not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can’t be my disciple” ~Luke 14:33 MSG

I have been reading tons of convicting, soul stirring books and Scripture lately. It leaves a lot on my heart and mind that I need to process through. Fill me with your Spirit Father. I’m so done with myself. I want to be over with MY will, MY dreams, MY ideas, MY plans. I want YOU! All of You!

Absolute surrender is a daily decision. I need to keep fighting. Keep pressing on. Not with my own strength and energy but with God’s. Everything that I am learning and all the resources He has given me, is going to take all summer to work and pray through. This is a summer of solitude, serving and going deeper with Jesus. Where will that bring me to? I have no idea. But I have full confidence that He will guide me to what His will for me is. He will open doors and continue to show me what His plans for my life are.

As a result of all this, my prayer for this summer after such a trial filled spring is…



God, don’t let me go back to normal. Let me keep running towards You. I don’t want to think that I can make it on my own and leave the peace and strength that I have being in Your arms. To continue keeping my gaze--my eyes fixed on my precious Jesus. I love you dearly! I adore you! You are absolutely all I want. Make me ablaze for you like never before. I want to sparkle with Christ. Showcase the radiance of Christ. To have you consuming more of my life every day! Continue to give me the wisdom, strength and energy to process and really take in all that you are showing me during this season of serving and solitude. All praise, glory and honor to the wonderful name of the Most High King!

Ridin' Solo????

“Today God has called me to be content as a single. So today, I am going to be the happiest single alive!! I am going to accomplish the most for God that is possible because He walks at my side” ~ Melody.

Though the world would say I am “riding solo” that couldn’t be further from the truth. No, no, no I am not riding solo I am riding with God! God is what honestly makes me the happiest single alive. My God is sooo good! He is truly all I need. The Lord God is my everything. I love Him with every beat of my heart, every piece of my soul, every neuron in my mind, and every ounce of my strength. He is my Forever Love! An earthly love story would just be extra and only to be a reflection of the amazing love adventure I have with Jesus!

God has made me a radiant, purpose filled daughter of the Most High King! Jesus is the ONLY reason why the light of God dances in my eyes. HE put it there!! I think Leslie Ludy nails explaining God’s purpose for being single when she wrote:

“In your single years, more than ever, you have the ability to give your life for them; to pour out your time, energy, love, and resources to those that have God’s special favor…the poor (not just poor in money, but poor in spirit, love, hope…). Are you using this gift for the benefit of those in need, or are you wasting it on yourself?”



I believe God has a higher calling for me right now than spending all my time and energy trying to find “Mr. Right”. I will not sit around waiting for my Prince Charming! Instead I will embrace the fact that God wants to use me now! Yes, I believe that he has a beautiful earthly love story planned out for me. But I also believe that I don’t have to wait around for it! God wants me to allow HIM to live, love and touch lives through me right now and to continue to seek Him and find Him to be the GREATEST treasure in the world. Your relationship with the Lord is the most important thing! Everything else will flow out of it!

I started to believe that a Christ-built Warrior Poet man didn’t exist. But oh they sure do! God has been showing me that He has one out there for me somewhere. Maybe you are reading this and have absolutely no idea what I mean by a Christ-built Warrior Poet; well let me explain!

Before I start let me tell you that as a daughter of the King you should NOT (I repeat DO NOT) settle for anything less than a Christ-built Warrior Poet. Know that this person will make mistakes; this isn’t some fairy tale man who is absolutely perfect. However, this shouldn’t bother you because you already have your fairy tale story with a person who is absolutely flawless and loves you like no man on earth ever could…JESUS!

The characteristics of a Christ-built Warrior Poet are...he spends hours on his knees in private prayer and worship of our King, fights for the cause of the least and outcast of the world, pours out his life to build up the Kingdom of God, he will be the initiator and you will be the responder, he will have a deep love, passion and devotion for Christ. His confidence, strength and boldness will all come from God. It will be one constant adventure being with a Christ-built Warrior Poet. You could spend hours with a guy like this and leave not thinking about how great he is but how great GOD is! Just being around him will encourage you to grow closer with Jesus! He will be willing to pour out his life for Christ, but also can express and vocalize his heart and show sensitivity to your world. A Christ-built Warrior Poet is a leader, a man of integrity, selfless, courageous, and compassionate, a pursuer, a protector, an adventurer, a warrior, a world changer, a gentleman and has a personal and close relationship with Christ.



So there you have it…that’s what I believe when it comes to earthly love stories. God will write your love story in HIS perfect timing. But I also know that I may never have an earthly love story. And that is completely okay! I am totally satisfied with God alone. I know His plans for me are for my good. God is for me. Therefore, I will always trust his judgment and plans for my life.

Prinking

This week I have been a leader at my church’s Vacation Bible School. It is definitely what I love to do! Working with kids, loving on them and best of all teaching them about my beloved Savior!! Since I love it soo much I pour out every drop of my energy and love on these kids and I get wiped out. But every morning when I get up early to have my Jesus time before I leave for camp--God fills me right back up again! I have caught myself praying this week that He would show up to VBS and work through me as I love and teach these kids about Him. Then I realized today that I just need to keep breathing in His love and grace. To know I don’t have to pray for God to show up today because God has invited me to be apart of this ministry. Of course He will show up and lead me. This isn’t about me or what I’m doing. It is about God and HIS plans and will. I am just honored to be invited and come along for the ride and to have Him use me in all this.

“Too often we face our future not with a sense of who He is and what He is calling us to, but with who we are and what we are capable of”

I struggle back and forth with this is my faith walk. I know what I am good at; I know what I am passionate for, I know who I am. So I try to plan my life around this information and figure it must be what God wants. But that just isn’t always true. My life isn’t about me and accomplishing things out of my power and talents but God’s power and His plans. I am a planner. It just who I am. It is a great gift to have in ministry work because there is so much planning to be done. But I often carry that over into my life and have to have my life planned out. I need to know where I am going to college, what I am going to do, where I am going to travel…the list goes on and on. This summer I am learning to live each day to the fullest and to live ONE DAY AT A TIME! It sounds like an easy goal but it is honestly really hard.
I catch myself planning my life all the time. I think it has to be what God wants without ever really spend a lot of hours in prayer and reading and meditating on scripture. In other words, I didn’t prink about it very well. Prinking is one of my new favorite words. It is praying + thinking biblically (reading scriptures). I am trying to work on prinking about everything before I say yes to something or start planning. I find tons of comfort in this verse:

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” ~Proverbs 19:21

Oh Lord please let your purpose prevail in my life. If my plans don’t match with Yours then don’t let them happen. Am I truly following YOUR Will or am I doing my own will and calling it yours? Keep working in my life and heart to make Your plans, desires and dreams. My plans, desires and dreams.

Totally off topic but I want to share my beautiful God moment of the month! My mom was talking to my sick Great Grandmother in the hospital and telling her that I feel called to work with orphans around the world and to start my own non profit. She said it with a HUGE smile on her face and with her full support.

What a mega unexpected blessing that was! I knew that this life God has called me to would not be easy. I knew that people would disapprove and not understand. I always expected the worst. But I am just in amazement in how you have worked in my mom’s heart! Reminds me of this quote from missionary, Bethany Haley:

“Realizing more and more that I am less blown away at God’s hand in my life. Not because He is less amazing—but because I’m expecting His hand around every corner more and more.”

The meditations God has put on my heart this week! Will you join me in praying that we would make sure that we are following God’s plans and not our own?

Point out the road I must travel; I'm all ears, all eyes before You. Teach me how to live to please You because you're my God. ~Psalm143:8&10

GOD IS ABLE!

Raining cold morning today. So peaceful. Wearing an oversized sweatshirt and comfy yoga pants with my grande peppermint mocha from Starbucks in my hand as I watch the rain fall from Heaven. Beautiful! These are the mornings when I start to reflect on God’s Word and my life like crazy. Today I am prayerfully asking God to give me the courage to stand for the Truth, love radically, live fearlessly, speak boldly and to be obedient to His Will (no matter what)! I know that is asking a lot. But I fully believe that God is faithful to keep transforming and molding me to be more and more like that! You have to trust in God’s perfect plan, rely on His wisdom, strength and faithfulness in your life. Because the truth is He is doing such wonderful work through you! Satan will do everything in his power to convince you that it is not true.

So, let me choose JOY. Joy in persecution, in my hardships. Joy in knowing I’m doing my Father’s work no matter the cost. There is nothing on earth that compares to knowing and loving Jesus.

“You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in a greater depth and extent. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways.”

Let me lean and depend on You (God) for everything. Keep me humbled and let me spend more time on my knees in adoration prayer to You than having myself be given glory. Why would someone give a pot an award or praise for being so well made and useful? No, that is silly! You would give the award and praise to the Potter, the Creator of the pot. In the same way, I think it is extremely silly and ridiculous when people do that to me. I am just the pot. My prayer is that when I am given praise, awards, or recognition for something that I will immediately show them My Potter’s signature written on my heart. Because the truth is: I am not here to look good. I am not here to show anyone how to make good sound decisions. I am here to bring glory to God, to be less, so that He can be more in me and through me, to boast in my weaknesses. It is incredibly counter-flesh.

As of today Lord, you have called me to here to my Pacific Northwest hometown. Calling me to love the people you have put in my life here and to help them grow closer to You. I could leave to love on the people in Africa or Haiti. And I do believe that one day you will call me to do that. But as of now my job is to be right where I am; loving on the people here who You might inspire through me to do the same thing (going out into all the world to share the Good News and love of Jesus Christ).


CSU Prayer Night with my girls

As of now I am working on being an RN (registered nurse) by the time I am 20! To be able to actually know how to help spiritually AND physically hurting people all over the world. I am absolutely terrified of blood, guts etc but my passion to serve and help those who no one will help is more powerful than the fear. Nursing would NEVER in a million years be my first choice for a major but as I look back you have been shining a light on this path. It will not be easy. I am going to have to lean on you constantly to help me do it. But, I trust that if this is truly the path you want me to go on you will work everything out and give me all the strength I need. I can honestly say with all my heart that I believe I am exactly where you want me to be and doing what you have called me to do right now. I am more joyful and full of passion and a burning fire to love like never before!



My Bravehearted Hero, Jesus Christ, you are sooo good. You never let me down. Your love for me is constant and overflowing. I’m NEVER left questioning or confused about your love! My Forever Love, our adventurous, beautiful, fairy tale story is eternal!

I have seen first hand all that you can accomplish through me when I am obedient to your Will. I have learned the difficult but joyfully sweet process of coming day after day to the foot of your throne in prayer asking for wisdom or praying for hurting people. You have taught me how to have genuine, selfless, humble, and constant love for others. Keep revealing to me my calling with orphans and the unloved, sick, hurting children all around the world. They have stolen my heart. Is it possible to have your heart ache for children you don’t even know? YES! I feel it everyday.

Selfless, humble, constant love is a challenge—I believe it is impossible without God’s gift of a new heart.



God check my heart. Make sure in everything I do my heart is in the right place. That everything about me: my actions, words, choices, life would be a beautiful reflection of you. I want the heart of Jesus. What matters most is where your heart is at and I want my heart to be in your hands. You alone deserve to sit on the throne of my heart…it belongs to you. Jesus, if You have my heart you will impact all that flows out of it and I know the results will be incredible. Please, I BEG You, take my heart, mold it and change it make it more like Yours. I want to see you in everything! For you to always be on my mind, to seek you constantly! I want a heart that beats for the Lord with a love no one can take away.

How can I possibly love these orphans unless I am allowing the Lord to change my heart.
God will change my heart by dwelling within me. I cannot save and impact lives for the Kingdom, love fully, and restore and rescue all 147 million orphans around the world that hold my heart…BUT GOD IS ABLE! Live through me. Work through me. I am willing!

There are some days I can really feel the sting of the life I have chosen. It is a challenge. But soooo worth it. This is what it means to be a follower of Christ. Your love makes every hardship, struggle, fear, loss all completely worth it!



“The fact is NOTHING should concern us more than our relationship with God; it’s about eternity. And nothing compares with that. God is not someone who can be tacked on to our lives” ~Francis Chan

At the end of life, we will not be judge by our SAT scores, how high your GPA was, how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done; We will be judged by this: How we lived our lives, radically loving and serving others and loving God with everything realizing the world is nothing in comparison.

So two hours and my last sip of coffee later…I am left with this. All the above is what I have been learning and what God has been showing me. It feels good to write it all down. I don’t find a lot of time to just sit and write like this and as always there is just so much to say!! Now that it’s summer I will hopefully be able to write more. Because there is so much more on my heart that I need to write down. Writing is one of my love languages with God. How God has wired me to process things. It is cool that you get to be apart of this: a little peek into the window of my heart and my adventure and relationship with Jesus Christ! And so I leave you with this quote.

“You CANNOT meet the Creator of the Universe and remain the same. If the God who is all powerful, all knowing, and all present comes to dwell within your soul, you would expect at least some minor disruption. I think there’s a problem when people talk about meeting God or knowing God and yet, remain unchanged by God. When the Creator chooses to dwell within His creation there is transformation. If Jesus has come to dwell within you, you are no longer suited for a normal life.”

My Heart Spilled

I never imagined I would be giving others advice saying, “Look how I handle this situation that is exactly what you SHOULDN’T DO! Here is some advice that I wish I would have done…” This reminds me of something I read in my biology book, it said, "Isn't interesting to ponder the fact that the living world adapts partly through its mistakes?" It humbles me to the core to mentor others by my shortcomings, mistakes, and weakness. But like I explained in my last post: God’s power works the best in weakness. And even through my shortcomings and weakness God’s grace and amazing love is working in me to transform me to be more like my precious Savior.

My dear sister in Christ and close friend text me this verse: Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified, and made spotless until the time of the end, for I will still come at the appointed time. –Daniel 11:35

God is in the process of refining, purifying and making me spotless. It is a necessary process for all Christ followers to go through but it not an easy one. Honestly, this is a painful process at times. Mainly because it involves one of my least favorite words: surrender.

Really Jesus, you want me to lay down all my “rights”, all my dreams, ambitions, wishes and hopes that I hold so dear, my reputation, my comfortable lifestyle, my romantic ideals, my free time: to lay them at your feet and then pick up my cross and follow you? You want me to be willing to give up anything at any moment if it would advance you Kingdom. Oh boy can’t we negotiate this one? Yet, God makes it clear that this is a non-negotiable request. It I truly want to be a disciple, a follower of Christ, I must surrender. Jesus Christ must have all that He purchased on the cross. Not just any surrender: ABSOLUTE SURRENDER! The flesh inside me hates those two words with a mighty passion. But the Spirit is giving me strength to keep fighting. To daily deny self (flesh) and follow Christ.

I have gotten to this time of surrender and refining after a season of trials and storms. And I promised in my last post that I would expand on more of that period of time in my life and what God has and is continuing to teach me. I am not going to list every storm or trial instead I am going to list off every lesson learned, what God is teaching me, or what I have learned about God throughout all this.

Truth #1) Jesus wept ~John 11:35 How beautiful it is that we have a Savior who cries with and for us! During my darkest times of heartache and hurt where all I wanted to do was just cry. Never once did I feel like God was looking down upon be for being weak or for taking the time to cry. Surprisingly instead I felt Jesus wrap his arms around me and began crying with me! Jesus Christ knows heartache and hurt. He knows everything you are going through. The shortest verse in the bible “Jesus wept” has gotten me through many dark and sad nights. And it didn’t end there he would whisper to my heart, “Heidi…my beloved. I know your pain. Please don’t you understand? Can you not see me weeping with you? My heart breaks with you. And though you can’t see it now, please know that I am answering your biggest prayer: To bring glory to my Name. Trust me, I’m using this and will continue to use this to bring me SO much glory. Stay firm in Me. Lean on Me. Depend on me to get you through this. I will never leave you. However, tonight let us just weep together.”

Truth #2) God is faithful. He will ALWAYS keep his promises. That night, when I was just crying with Jesus, He promised me that he was using all this for His glory. That He would use all the disappointments, heartache, and trails to answer some of my biggest prayers! And oh brothers and sisters how He has done that and so much more!

Truth #3) Trails are PURE JOY when GOD is our goal. Our goal for trials should not be to just get through them but to look at them as an amazing opportunity to grow closer to God, gain heavenly wisdom, and become more like our sweet Savior. I know that the love and grace of God will get me through any trail that comes my way. Not only that but through these trails I have grown closer to God like never before! So lately my prayers have been for God to bring trails into my life (I know its sounds completely crazy) but my ultimate longing is to daily draw closer to God, to know more about Him, and to fall more deeply in love with Him. Trails help all three of those longings happen in such a powerful way!

Come on world throw another battle in my life. It hurts, but I learned it makes me stronger. Come on world give me all you got and I’ll pull through. Love is my fuel. And I won’t be losing that anytime soon. ~Kina Grannis

My fuel, my love comes from God, it is everlasting. “Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. Understand how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.” Eph 3:18

Truth #4) Obedience, when it flows out of genuine love for Jesus Christ, is never wasted and never regretted.
In the beginning of April I felt like God was asking me to walk away from my YoungLife leader position. What? God are you crazy! Why? No, I am doing so much good here! Why in the world would you ask me to leave? He had made it clear in January that He did not want me to return next year to a leadership role, but to end in the middle of the school year?! My pride kicked in hardcore at this point. God, there is no way they could do it without me. Who would pick up the kids and take them everywhere? I have grown so close to these leaders and kids and you just want me to walk away?
“Heidi…please, I know this is hard but can you trust me?”
I am always looking for ways to make deals with God (don’t ask me why). So I said if this is truly what you want Lord you will make it extremely clear that you want me to leave.
God was moving me in an opposite direction. I knew it, but I refused to let go. So I asked God for a very specific sign. For something that I thought very unlikely if not absolutely impossible. And then something devastating happened. God gave me the sign I asked for.
Exactly a month after God asked me to walk away; I was actually walking away from it all. It was the most painful decision I have ever made in my life. I put so much of my heart and soul into the program, into the lives of the kids. My biggest fear was that I wouldn’t see them as much or get to be apart of their lives.

Truth #5) Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open." - Corrie Ten Boom

God’s ways are not always our ways. Honestly, they are almost never our ways. So I just keep on praying, “Yet I want YOUR WILL to be done, not mine” (Mark 11:36).

Truth #6) Forgiveness. “Then I realized my heart was bitter and I was torn up inside” ~Psalms 73:21. Love doesn’t give up because something goes wrong or your feelings are hurt. God is in charge so those who love just keep right on loving. God has been freeing me from bitterness and hard feelings. I feel the chains of bitterness falling off. “My chains are gone I've been set free” My all time favorite quote about forgiveness that has inspired me greatly this month is:

“We as humans can forgive those that wrong us, but we lack the ability, the power, and the love to forgive the way God forgives. Human forgiveness relinquishes resentment and anger, but it can't remove the magnetic pull of remembrance. Human forgiveness leaves us free from the rot of bitterness, but it does nothing to bring heavenly love into the soul towards the one who wronged us. We can't, as humans, forgive as God forgives; we can allow God to forgive in and through us, and thusly change us and change this world with the amazing love of Christ.” –Eric Ludy

Truth #7) This truth is from 1 Peter 5:10 "So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”

After trials God will restore, support and strengthen you! How he did (and is doing) that in me is putting a powerful passion in my soul. This is a passion that I have always had but He put a deeper meaning into it and gave it life.

“If we will not reach them with the love of Jesus Christ, who will?" -Jackie Pullinger

My passion is loving the people that others don’t naturally love on. These people are everywhere. In your school, on the side of the street, in your neighborhood, across the world, etc. They need to be shown the love of Christ. Will you be the arms of Jesus Christ to them?

Truth #8) Service to others in Jesus' name with a genuine heart of love is one of the most fulfilling and joyous feelings!

Phew…okay there you go as promised! A little more background and info to the past few months of my life. I felt really inspired to write this and my hope and prayer is that the Spirit will work in your heart and somehow my recent chapter in my adventure with Jesus; can be an encouragement to your own walk with Him.

PLEASE KNOW…I don’t claim to have all the answers. I don’t claim to be doing this all right. Actually, lately I will be the first to tell you I am doing this all wrong. BUT, I do claim to believe that the words of Jesus are absolutely true and apply to me, right now, today!

The weaker I get, the stronger I become

Following Jesus is a war.
It’s not some happy club.
This isn’t Chuck E. Cheese.
Are you willing to fight this fight?

This has been a month of immense heartache, disappointment, and rejection. At the same time it has been filled with extreme joy and a powerful peace. I know what you’re thinking…that is impossible. How can you put heartache and pure joy in the same sentence? It happens to be one of the many unexplainable feelings and situations that happen when your life is fully surrendered to Christ.

It has been a month of trials…one after the other. I barely have time to catch my breath before the next trial comes. I beg God to make them stop. Crying out to Him night after night after night saying, “Please Father, I don’t think I can do this anymore”. Yet, the trails keep coming. Then God led me to the Message version of 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

“…so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

I love these verses. I am dependent, powerless, WEAK, and while that should scare me, that truth brings me to a beautiful place. A place where I CAN’T go one minute without crying out to my Father. A place where in my weakness God’s power is made perfect. The trials are a gift. I was right when I prayed: “I can’t do this anymore”. Because I can’t! I need God’s grace and power. I am weak. But Christ wants to take over! That is where the pure joy and peace comes from during heartache and disappointment. I know Christ is in control. Our trials are pure joy when God is our goal.

“Do not forget in the darkness what you have been promised in the light”

It happens way too easily. A rough month and I forget. It becomes easy to look around and think. “Why do I do this? Why do I put myself through this?” Then I smile and remember: I do it for Jesus.

I cannot begin to thank you all for your prayers this month. They have overwhelmed me with peace and joy that can only come from our Radiant Lord. I wish I could tell you the full story of the things that have been happening this month. How God has been working in my life even throughout the storms and trials. But, I feel it is best to wait. Instead I will show you some pictures of my “sunshines” from this month.

Some of the MANY donations from Key Club's Vida's Ark Fundraiser. $908.65 and $3,000 dollars worth of supplies.



Some of my dear friends and the adorable posters from the Vida's Ark (teen moms) Fundraiser!


CSU Roller Skate night!


The whole CSU Roller Skate Group! This outreach event=TOTAL SUCCESS!


First part of my senior pictures! I can't believe Senior year is right around the corner...


Anti Prom Night with my campaigner kids!


Late night drive to go Cosmic Bowling!


My Beautiful Girls!

The Least of the Least...

Disclaimer: This is my best description of the dream and "vision" I have been having the past few months. Obviously if you know me you know I have not been to Africa, India..etc but God does take me there frequently in my head. What God has shown me is what I am writing about.

I am walking down the streets of Africa, China, Haiti, and India. I see the work of orphanages of all these locations. Children are being adopted into loving God fearing families from all over the world. Yet, I get the feeling that something is missing. As I look around I see a group of precious children looking at the scene as outsiders. These children are not the cute little kids you see on adoption fliers. No, they are hurt, sick, lame, mentally or physically handicapped, HIV positive, Down syndrome; missing arm or a leg...They are the least of the orphans.

I hear the world say: "They are considered to be dead ducks anyways. They are the children without a mommy and a daddy AND not desirable for adoption. Who would want to adopt a really sick child? Why spend the money or resources on these children when they have no hope...no future".

Yet God puts a different truth on my heart...I see beautiful and wonderfully created children with a purpose and a treasured soul. A child that so desperately needs love. These children are the least of the least. And I believe it is our duty as Christians to love them.

I walk down the halls of a Children's Hospital in America and see our sick, lame, handicapped children but they’re smiling, joyful, laughing even though they are so sick, hurting, or disadvantaged. They have parent(s) who love them and hold their hand during blood testing. They have hope in knowing a doctor will do everything possible to give them a longer or brighter tomorrow. They know they can live a happy, purposeful life even with a disability. They are living their lives no matter how short to the fullest and surrounded by love.

I want that for these children around the world. The least of even the orphans. They’re the unwanted orphans. All I want for them is love. To be loved and to know love. I don’t want to give them an earthly future but an eternal future.

“For God’s possible is taught by His world’s loving,
And the children doubt of each”

These children can only believe in a Heavenly Father who loves them by seeing His people love them.

Abba…Father,

How my heart breaks for these orphans. You throughout both the Old and New Testament call your people to love these children, the fatherless. God, show me that I am not a rescuer…I am the rescued. You saw me when I was dirty, sick with sin. I was on a path to death. I had nothing to offer you; I was such a pain: constantly rejecting your love. You never stopped fighting for me and showing me love. I am a rescued child. I have been adopted into your heavenly family. Use me to help rescue more children. Let me love them as you loved me. It won’t be easy but you will give me all that I need to do it. And best of all you will forever be by my side.
Love you!
Heidi