I am Trembling in Awe of it all...

Exactly one week ago, around this same exact time (10pm), I cried out to God. I begged Him for guidance and wisdom. And most simply I cried out for God. I needed Him. My soul was thirsting for some time to dwell in the presence of God. I wanted to get drunk in the freely poured out love of God. Ask and it shall be given unto you. I got what I asked for and so much more.

I picked up one of my favorite devotional books “God Calling” and just feeling completely filled with the Holy Spirit, I went through the whole books super fast, finding random parts and writing it down. Not really knowing what I was doing twenty minutes later I had…a letter from God. It is from random spots in my devotional yet, somehow it flows so beautifully, like it was originally written to be together like this.

My Beloved and Precious Child,


Can you not feel the joy of knowing, loving and companying with Me? Remember you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands—in trust for you. I shall guide you one day at a time. Leave the rest to Me. You must not anticipate the gift of the future by fears or obsessive thoughts. For each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength.


Just be a child. A child never questions plans. It accepts gladly. All is well. Wonderful things are happening. Do not limit Me at all. I will provide. You must pray the way will open. My plans for you will unfold in My perfect timing. Just love and wait. Wait, my child. Wonders are unfolding before your eyes. Tremble with awe at all I am doing.


Life with me is not immunity from difficulties but peace in difficulties. My guidance is often by shut doors. Love shuts doors as well as opens. Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of My Will, when all seems not joyous. Joy is the daughter of calm. Be calm, no matter what may be fall you. Rest in Me.


Be patient, and let patience have her perfect work. Never think things overwhelming. How can you be overwhelmed when I am with you? I can see the future. I can read your heart. I know you better than you what you need. Trust Me absolutely. You are NOT at the mercy of Fate or Luck. Never fear, whatever may happen. Know you are being led. Know that you will be shown. I have promised.


Have a big faith, and expect big things. Looking back you will see that ever step of the way was planned. Leave all to Me. Each stone in the mosaic fits into the perfect pattern, designed by the Master Artist. It is all so wonderful! But the colors are Heaven’s hues, so that your eyes could not bear to gaze on the whole, until you arrive at Heaven’s gate. So, stone by stone, you will see, and trust the pattern to the Designer.


You will never be able to fully understand how wide, deep, and high my love is for you. But I dare you to try…


Forever and Always,

Your Abba Father

I cannot share everything that has been happening the past two weeks. It’s not time for that story to be told yet. However, I can reveal that God is doing some BIG things in my life. All of it is beyond my wildest dream. I feel like my life is some wonderful dream—too good to be true. But I have pinched myself a million times and this is real…this is my current reality. God is unfolding wonders before my very eyes. Yes, I am trembling in awe of it all.

Two months ago, I was crying myself to sleep because I was so terrified of not knowing what the future held. God will sing me to sleep with truths and promises to trust Him because He has great plans for my life. But I had to surrender my dreams and plans. That was horribly painful at the time. Everything that the world had instilled in me told me this was foolishness. Some people thought it was courageous. No, surrender is not foolish and it’s not courageous. Surrender is simply faith in an all-knowing God. Since October, I went through a season of waiting, surrender, and prayer.

Now after months of waiting, God’s plans are starting to be made known in BIG, obvious, and convicting ways. I am praying that I have the boldness and courage to follow God where He is calling/leading me—no matter the costs. If God calls me to it; He will enable me to bear it. Even if I end up across the country. Anyways, before I give too much away I want to leave you with this FIREWORD, God recently reminded me of.

I wrote this on January 28 in my prayer journal:

“Joyful. I have joy overflowing deep within my soul. So much to be thankful for, so much praise constantly spilling out of my mouth. I am drunk with love for You, Lord. Your love is freely given. I did absolutely nothing to deserve it and I am so unworthy of this love You pour out on me. But You whisper to my heart that this is how love is supposed to be. A true sacrificial love is free. You cannot buy it. You cannot earn it. However, once this love is bestowed and gifted upon you it will cost you everything. All by your own choice, knowing it doesn’t have to cost you everything and that you can walk away from this love at anytime. You know you could abuse this love, you know you have the power to walk all over it. But you would never dream of doing that. Instead you look into the eyes of the person and/or God who pours this true (freely given) love on you and tell them you would do anything, be anyone, and go anywhere to be with them. To be with the one whose love has forever changed you. The love you cannot even imagine living without. That is True Love.”