Part 4: Powerful Faith

Why is it that we shy away from the call of greatness? Why do we walk away from the adventure of a lifetime; a chance to be used by God in ways that seem impossible? All the power, strength, might, and love of God is ours as His children to wield upon this earth. To make earth a little more like Heaven! And yet still people turn away from such a majestic call. Well let me tell you: I will NOT turn away from this call. I know who wins this spiritual battle and you better believe I am going to give my life serving the winning side.

Jesus Christ is the rightful King of this earth. We cannot rest until everyone on earth knows about all that He is and has done for us! My soul longs for the day that earth will be filled with the glory of God, like the waters cover the sea. “Until that day, our swords (keep in mind this is a spiritual sword) will not rest, our prayers will not cease, and our passion cannot and will not dim”.

“Let us remember that God’s Word stands forever, and that His commandments mean for us today exactly the same as for His disciples twenty centuries ago. Those who act on them, in obedience, will in the same way prove God’s almighty power…Our fight is not against a physical army, a political party, an atheistic organization—or anything like that. Our fight is against organizations and powers that are spiritual.” –Corrie Ten Boom

“Beautiful words stir my heart…Pick up your sword, O mighty warrior! Ride out to victory defending truth, humility, and justice. Go forth to perform awe-inspiring deeds…Therefore God, your God has anointed YOU, pouring out the oil of joy on you more than anyone else.” ~Psalm 45

“Christianity is about a Kingdom, a glory, a power, a grace, a righteousness, an eternal triumph, and yielding to the all powerful King who is bringing it all about.” ~Eric Ludy

Christianity isn’t about being some fairy tale character in a dreamland but being a warrior for Christ in a very REAL battle adventure. I can promise you, living out the Gospel, following Jesus Christ wherever He may take you…is a genuine adventure of a lifetime. Each day is a brand new adventure and I wake up every morning excited for what the day will bring. Ready for whatever the Lord will have me do. Living a life that is completely spent on the things my Almighty Father and Savior deems most important.

We as Christians cannot listen to scripture like…"Jesus said to them, if anyone wants to be my follower, he must deny self, pick up his cross daily and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. ~Luke 9:23-24”…and not act on it when it convicts our heart. We must act and be obedient to what the Lord tells us to do. We must realize that unbelievers and even other Christians will make their impressions of Christ based on how we live. We cannot live a godly life shining and reflecting the radiance of God without Him dwelling within us. We need to be obedient to the Word of God and never stop fixing our gaze on Jesus Christ.

Know without a doubt that Jesus will continue to fill you up, change your heart to break for what breaks His heart, and if you lose your way or your light begins to dim—He will make you radiant once again! Chase hard after Christ with all you have. Keep breathing in His love and grace.

You don’t have to pray for Jesus to walk with you, to be by your side on this adventure because He has invited YOU to be apart of this adventure. Of course He will be by your side. What the real question is: Will you except the call and be by His side no matter where it may take you; no matter what you may have to give up or do…will you still stay by Jesus side? That my friends, is the true question you should be asking. Not whether or not Jesus will stay by your side because He promises He will never leave or forsake you. Can you promise the same to Him?

If God calls you to it. He will enable you to bear it! Jesus never asks us to risk, dare, or do anything that He Himself wouldn’t do.

My prayer for myself everyday is to reflect the radiant love of Christ, which burns so deeply inside me, to everyone God puts in my life. Father, I don’t want it to be my words but Your words! You are the one that changes hearts and transforms lives. Let me be a channel of Your love and power to the world. Work through me. Speak through me. I long to bring glory to Your wonderful name.

“When we yield our bodies to God, He moves us to action. He loves through us. He prays through us. He becomes a father (or mother) to the orphans through us. He rescues the oppressed through us. And He demonstrates His Holiness through us. It is not us that pulls of this miracle, but Christ working in us. God can do it!” ~Eric Ludy

"Not to us, O LORD, but to YOUR name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness" ~Psalm 115:1

Regrettably, my prideful and selfish heart gets in the way of being able to reflect Jesus Christ to the world 24/7. After I mess up big time, miss the mark of the person God calls me to me, or fall into sin, I like to read about David. The bible says David was “a man after God’s own heart”. He did some amazing, seemingly impossible things for the Kingdom of God. Yet, he also made some mistakes and poor choices. But every time he fell into sin he would take a step back, fall on his knees and cry out to God in repentance and ask for forgiveness. He would go back to his roots, his first love in God and let Him restore and set him back on track. The forgiveness of Jesus not only takes away our sins and puts us back on track; it makes them (our sins) as if they had never happened.

“Your sins and iniquities will I remember NO MORE! ~Hebrews 10:17

Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. God ALWAYS keeps His word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching (Jesus’ return). ~Hebrews 10:23-25 MSG

You are not guaranteed tomorrow. You do not know when Jesus will call you home. Or even more importantly…when Jesus will return. Live everyday like it would be your last. I know if I knew I only had one day to live I would want to spend it pouring myself out on Kingdom work. Loving others, sharing the Gospel, and helping people grow in their faith…not stressing about worldly things. When you live a life not in fear of death but in acknowledgement that it could happen at anytime; you live a more relaxed and Christ centered life. Not worried about the things of this temporary world.

But as for me, I know my Redeemer lives, and He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decade without my earthly body I will see God! I will see Him for myself. Yes, I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought. ~Job 19:25-27

This poem is something that inspires me every single day! I hope it inspires you as well. May we all live lives centered on inviting as many people to the brilliant city in the Heavens where Jesus Christ sits as KING!

When she enters the beautiful city
And the saved all around her appear
Many people around her will tell her,
It was YOU that invited me here
~Unknown Author

Part 3: CRAZY Love

Reading and praying (PRINKING) over Job 29 this morning! Love, love, love this chapter in Job. Not only is Job 29 how I want to live but is everything that I want in a future husband! Someone completely devoted to God and has a heart for the least in the world. But, most of all Job 29 is a perfect description of Jesus Christ.

All who heard me praised me. All who saw me spoke well of me. For I assisted the poor in their need and the orphans who required help. I helped those without hope, and they blessed me. And I caused the widows’ hearts to sing for joy. Everything I did was honest. Righteousness covered me like a robe, and I wore justice like a turban. I served as eyes for the blind and feet for the lame. I was a father to the poor and assisted strangers who needed help. I broke the jaws of godless oppressors and plucked their victims from their teeth… Everyone listened to my advice. They were silent as they waited for me to speak. And after I spoke, they had nothing to add, for my counsel satisfied them. They longed for me to speak as people long for rain. They drank my words like a refreshing spring rain. When they were discouraged, I smiled at them. My look of approval was precious to them. (Job 29)

So I started thinking about earthly relationships vs. being content with Christ. When you are happy, filled with pure joy, and content in your life it shows that you are living in the center of God’s plans and will for your life. Because true happiness is found by being secure in Jesus Christ.

I use to believe that God took away promising relationships with guys to make me follow Him. Like God was saying, “Oh no, girlfriend…don’t even think about dating him or how could you ever want that…because I need your full attention on me…so I am just going to take this away from you so you have no other option except follow me.”

I believed that’s how God worked until I read Tramp for the Lord by Corrie Ten Boom, and read this…

“God does not take away from us. He might ask us to turn our backs on something, or someone, we should not have. But, God NEVER takes away. However, God gives. If I reach out and take someone for myself and the Lord steps in between, that does not mean God takes. Rather it means He is protecting us from someone we should not have because He has a far greater purpose for our lives” ~Corrie Ten Boom

Then God reminded me of two scriptures and a quote that reinforced this…

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope ~Jeremiah 29:11

But I (God) hold this against you: you have forgotten your first and forever love! ~Revelation 2:4 (paraphrase)
“True love is: unreasonable, undeserved, inconvenient, unpopular, irrational, unfair, and selflessly beautiful…such is the love of Christ”

See whenever I got upset at God for “taking away” promising relationships, what I was really doing was telling God that He wasn’t enough for me. I had forgotten my first love. My one and forever love. I had forgotten my burning love and passion for God and his people. Instead, I was grumbling throughout my day about how “unfair” God was and if He really loved me He would give me what I wanted. (I know…I know. I sound like a three year old spoiled girl—sadly, that’s how my flesh sounded at the time).

I cried out to God: “Please show me your love! Make me completely content in your love”. God answered that prayer way beyond my imagination. In my heart I was only praying for an overflowing cup of God’s love; instead I got an overflowing ocean. The love of God, of my Jesus, is far more than I can ever deserve. What a blessing it is that even though we are sooo undeserving, He still overflows us with His amazing love.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us ~Ephesians 3:14-20
Our lives here on earth are temporary, in the same way our earthly relationships are temporary. When we are standing before our first love Jesus Christ; I am convinced we will not be thinking of our earthly sweetheart. Since earthly marriages are meant to point to something greater: to be a reflection of our relationship with Jesus.

When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven ~Mark 12:25

God reminded me that earthly love stories can only be as beautiful, powerful, and strong as your relationship with Christ is. Your relationship with Christ is your FOREVER love story. Your earthly love story is only a reflection of your relationship with God. Therefore, if you truly want to have a breathtaking earthly love story doesn’t it make since to devote all your time strengthening your relationship with Christ?

Now my hope is that this would not be your main reason for wanting to grow and strengthen your relationship with God. Because lets be honest now…

Earthly Love story will never come close to a FOREVER LOVE STORY WITH CHRIST

Love this quote: It is a safe thing to trust God to fulfill the desire which He creates ~Amy Carmichael. If you feel that you are called to get married one day, if that is one of the desires God has put on your heart. Then you can trust that He will fulfill that desire in the most beautiful and perfect way! God is using these single years to teach you that marriage is not the answer to happiness or being content. Jesus Christ is the answer.

“Contentment is the product of a heart resting in God. It is the soul’s enjoyment of that peace that passes all understanding. It is the outcome of my will being brought into subjection to the Divine will. It is the blessed assurance that God does all things well, and is, even now, making all things work out for my ultimate good” –A.W Pink

Whenever I doubt God’s goodness or love for me all I have to do if remember that Jesus gives us the Holy Spirit and according to scriptures: …we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. –Romans 5:5 God’s love is within me always. I know I have a never ending supply of amazing God love right in my heart. I have come to understand that real love comes from the heart. It is spontaneous, organic, and not planned. Love is also inconvenient! You can’t plan love. But love is always worth it! Love is powerful. God is love. All good things to remember as we: Answer the call to embark on the Set Apart Adventure.

Part 2: The Truth

I will start off by saying that I absolutely did NOT want to write this post; and as always God had other plans. Let just say writing this has humbled me in ways only God can….

“But there is a spirit within people, the breath of the Almighty God within them, that makes them wise” ~Job 32:8
God’s spirit, His breath, is within me. It is what fills every inch of my heart. It is what gives me the ability to love and serve and most of all it is what speaks through me (or writes). My source of strength and wisdom comes from the Almighty God. I totally understand what Corrie Ten Boom is felling when she said, “Sometimes I get a headache from the heat of the halo that people put around my head”. People continue to believe that somehow everything I do is something out of my own strength or ability. Or that every convicting blog I write is from my own wisdom.

Well…let me tell you what the REAL Heidi Johnson is like. She absolutely HATE’s when things do not go the way she plans them in her head. Everyday she struggle with these verses…
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails ~Proverbs 19:21

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD ~Isaiah 55:8

“Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what You will” ~Mark 14:36

The REAL Heidi Johnson would rather wake up early to go to Starbucks and depend on her grande peppermint mocha to give her the energy to get through the day instead of waking up early to do a morning devotion to trust and depend on Jesus to give her all the energy and strength she will need.

The REAL Heidi Johnson knows that there are TONS of innocent children that are dying due to sever malnutrition and eating out of dumpsters. Children who don’t know the Gospel or that they have a Heavenly Father that so deeply loves them. Children who are unloved and are longing for a forever family. Children that have to grow up way to soon in order to take care of their family because their parents died of AIDs. Children who are forced into sexual slavery or child soldiers...

At the end of the day, even though she know all of this, the REAL Heidi Johnson wonders if these children are really worth leaving a comfortable lifestyle, a life where she has every worldly thing going for her, a life where she is living the “American Dream”. These children’s situations break her heart but she is too selfish to give up her “perfect” worldly life to pour out love and share the Gospel with these children. But, it does sound nice to talk about giving up her life for them. However, deep down she knows she doesn’t have the courage to actually do it.

The REAL Heidi Johnson is lazy, selfish, and has a massive ego. The good news is that Jesus Christ IN Heidi Johnson is the total opposite of all of these things. Jesus in Heidi Johnson knows what to do with her shortcomings and sins. She knows when you confess them to God, Jesus Christ washes them in HIS Blood that He shed on the cross. They are forever cast into the deepest sea. And Heidi Johnson gets to stand before God as white as snow.
Jesus in Heidi Johnson stays up all night to pray on behalf of the atheist man she met at Starbucks; begging God for a second chance to get to meet him again and share the Gospel with him. Jesus in Heidi Johnson can say and write things that even leave her in awe and inspired. Jesus in Heidi Johnson gives her the confidence to trust that God works everything out for the good of those who love Him and that she doesn’t need to worry or even make plans.
Jesus in Heidi Johnson reminds her that there is energy and strength that He longs to fill her with that no sugary $4 mocha can ever give her. Jesus in Heidi Johnson knows that it doesn’t matter if everyone thinks she’s crazy and has lost her mind because she is always posting “Jesus Blogs”. Jesus in Heidi Johnson tells her that her life is only completely full, joyful and fulfilled when she gives it up for the least in the world. And finally Jesus in Heidi Johnson tells her that in her weakness, she is made strong through Him.

My friends, hear me out, we are ALL sinners who need to understand the most powerful and beautiful love that was EVER shown on this earth. Jesus Christ died to lift us out of this horrible, ugly and dead life of sin, selfishness, and ego and instead into His wonderful LIGHT!

For you are a chosen people, belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light ~1 Peter 2:9

The bible calls the REAL Heidi Johnson self or flesh…
“Jesus said to them, if anyone wants to be my follower, he must deny self, pick up his cross daily and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake *(like say…to love on broken, unloved children)*, you will save it. ~Luke 9:23-24 (the * part added by me)

This 5 part series is called Answering the call to embark on the Set Apart Adventure. The Set Apart Adventure is following Jesus. Honestly, it is the adventure of a lifetime. But Luke 9:23-24 says that in order to answer this call and start embarking on this adventure we MUST deny self (in my case the REAL Heidi Johnson), pick up my cross daily (notice that it says daily…this is a conscious decision we must make every morning) and only then can we follow Jesus and embark on the Adventure.

“God rescued me from the grave and now my life is filled with LIGHT” ~Job 33:28

God rescued my soul from an eternal death and has given me the gift (seriously, it’s a gift…I did absolutely nothing to deserve it) of a forever life with Him in Heaven. Not only that but He has saved me from living a “dead” life on earth filled with darkness and only focused on self. He instead has OVERFLOWED my life with His wonderful light! This light comes from Jesus living in your heart. He teaches you how to truly be alive! Jesus wants to live in your heart. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock” He says, “If anyone opens the door, I’ll come in”.

Will you open the door of your heart and let Jesus come in, change you, and fill you with His wonderful light??

Part 1~ Creating a Holy Temple

God has given me a five part series to write called: Answering the Call to embark on a Set-Apart Adventure. The first part of this series is Cleaning and Preparing the Sanctuary /Temple for the Most High King. Before I start I want to tell you why I do this. Why I blog. Why I take the time to pray throughout this whole process and truly make sure that everything I write is exactly what God has asked me to write…

Honestly, I can’t stop writing. The Holy Spirit puts something so strongly on my heart and it’s impossible for me to not do my best to put it in words. I can’t turn it off. At least God hasn’t turned it off yet. I go through situations, I go through experiences, I see everyday miracles, and I go through life with my sweet Savior, Jesus Christ. Lately, God has been opening my eyes to the Heavenly realm and the spiritual battle surrounding us. I NEED to write it, all of it…it’s like breathing.

I was prinking (praying and thinking biblically or meditating on scripture) a month ago on a simple, campfire worship song called Sanctuary. It was the main chorus that was running through my head: “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary. Pure and holy, tired and true. With Thanksgiving I’ll be a living Sanctuary for you”. I just sang that part over and over to myself and let it sink deep into my heart. And then I realized, as Christians we are to be living temples or Sanctuary’s. The Most High King wants to dwell within us! It is an amazing truth.

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him, For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are. -- 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

I started to pray to God about how grateful I was that He is dwelling within me and is therefore with me wherever I go. But then God whispered to my heart, “Heidi, yes I am dwelling within you but it is SO messy in here. Sin, worldly desires, unforgiveness, bitterness, and pride are cluttering and defiling this temple that is supposed to be a Holy place! It is time for some much needed summer cleaning”

I was so taken aback by what God said! God, how do I possibly begin cleaning my inner temple to make it fit for a King? I started to look around my room. I could barely see the floor. It was quite a horrible sight to see…it looked like my closet exploded, my desk was stacked a mile high with papers, there was a mountain of books my by bed, old mugs half filled with two day old peppermint tea, and my walls were over crowded with pictures and random things: the area as a whole was extremely overwhelming!

“Look around your room my precious daughter, this disorderliness and messiness is what your inner temple feels like for me. Start with cleaning up your earthly sanctuary and I will teach you during that process how to clean your inner temple!”

Jesus is my Solid Rock, my Cornerstone. I am always amazed at how He fills me with SO much wisdom and understanding right when I need it most. So quickly either in written words or spoken; He always puts the right words in my mouth or heart.



The process of cleaning your inner (and physical) temple is time consuming, scary, and EXTREMELY messy…you are being forewarned!! However, it is always, always necessary. Because remember that as Christians throughout our whole lives God is molding us to be more like Jesus. It is a beautiful process of being refashioned into an utterly new creation.

When I was cleaning my room I had three boxes; keep, throw away, and donate. Cleaning your inner temple is the same process. I prayerfully went before God and let Him clean; let HIM choose what needed to go, what needed to stay, and what needed to be given away. For example, my devoted time in the morning and night for bible and prayer time needed to stay. On the other hand, my unforgiveness needed to go.
*A quick side note: unforgiveness is an extreme spiritual poison. It NEEDS to be gone as soon as possible, it is so harmful. I love what Corrie Ten Boom says on forgiveness, “I could not do it [forgive]. I was not able. Jesus in me was able to do it. You see, you never touch so much the ocean of God’s love as when you love those who hurt you”.*
This was the prayer I prayed to get rid of the unforgiveness: Father, clear my heart from any jealousy or unnecessary hurt. You have other plans for me. Plans for good and not harm. You have something custom designed for me. I can trust fully in you!

Something that had to be given away (donated) was all that God had been showing me the past year. I often times get scared to share the things that God reveals to me…mainly for fear of rejection, but God does not want me to keep it to myself but to proclaim it on the mountain tops and tell of the wonders of our God. (For those curious readers: Yes, that is another reason why I am writing this five part series)

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health my fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart. He is mine FOREVER!...How good is it to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do. ~Psalm 73:25-26:28

I want to be able to say…”I desire you more than anything on earth…” and truly mean it and have that truth reflect in my life. God is the strength of my heart and my first and forever love. He has been my shelter during every one of life’s storms and raindrop moments. My prayer is that God continues to fill me with boldness to not let fear stop me from sharing the wonderful things He has done in my life. I long to know Jesus, serve Jesus, and to become more like Jesus.

During this time of cleaning and preparing my body to be a living temple for the King of kings and Lord of lords; David’s plea to God became the cry of my heart…”Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” ~Psalm 139: 23-24

Now I have inner temple that is fit for my sweet Jesus and a clean room which is my earthly sanctuary and temple where I go away to meet with God. A room for bible studies, devotions, prayer, journaling and writing, TONS of prinking, worship...and it even has become a place where God presence has been dwelling so strongly because I have been keeping it clean, not polluted by the world (that's right ABSOLUTELY NO teen magazines , Z100,etc allowed in my room) it is always ready to be used to meet with God that my sister uses my room for her devotion time too!





After this season of my life I can candidly say that…

“I am one of the rare and nearly extinct breed of God lovers who still lives and breathes what she believed back then. Only now it is more real than ever because it’s in me. God’s Spirit is in me, changing me. Not just around me, influencing me.”

Beauty in Brokeness

“The truth of the matter is...LIFE IS HARD. We do not choose our lives. If you are truly living by faith and relying on Jesus Christ, then does it really matter if life is hard? or accepted? or pleasing to others? NO, it only matters to Christ and Christ alone. So, the bottom line...who are you here to serve?” ~Anonymous

Being real with you all: it was a tough night in the Johnson household yesterday. Satan and the sinful flesh inside everyone seemed to be running around wild and out of control. Selfishness was the heart of the problem for all of us. However, there were also uncontrollable events (that life always seems to through at you) that set off this very unpleasant night.

Yet, on nights like yesterday, I always remember two important things:

1) To trust God, knowing He will see me through!

Perhaps faith is like that—it is not easy. But, in a way, it is very simple. We cannot do it by ourselves, that is obvious. But when we turn to Lord God Jehovah, he gives us what we are lacking—faith. That is exactly where I am tonight. It is not easy. Nothing about this day has been easy. But I will not make it through the night without faith. Please Lord, increase my faith that I might survive until morning. (Three Days, by Melody Carlson)

2) That we serve a God who takes broken things and broken people and transforms them into something beautiful and whole.

God is seriously an expert at using some of my darkest and tough nights and situations and using them for my good and for advancing His Kingdom here on Earth. Yesterday it was VERY obvious that I didn’t deny self…my pride and selfishness were on full parade in my life. And let me tell you that can quickly make a mess of things. By the time I realized what I had forgotten to do (deny my self and let Christ sit at the throne of my day) the damage was done. Throw in some unfortunate circumstances and three other people and you have a huge disaster just waiting to happen.

By the end of the night, I was on my face just begging God for forgiveness. I know that when I live for myself and my sinful desires it breaks God’s heart. But last night I could feel that I was hurting Him. I have never felt that way before. That very feeling is what brought me to my knees last night, just crying out for forgiveness. I HATE hurting God. Yet, the moment I cried out for forgiveness that horrible feeling was immediately gone. Instead, it was replaced by His supernatural grace, love, and patience.

Honestly, God shows me so much patience: especially when He has to remind me of something that He has taught or showed me a million times—like denying self everyday. He pours our His patience and all the resources of Heaven to help me fight and conquer the sin in my life. Last night it was the strength and power that I have from Christ that crucified my prideful and selfish heart and put Jesus Christ back on the throne of my heart.

Last night I remembered that God’s grace is deeper than the deepest ocean. And that no matter how far away we are from God, His love goes farther still! PRAISE THE LORD!!

Here is a quote from the book I am reading right now called, Under the Overpass, by Mike Yankoski. (I highly recommend this book; it is about the adventures of two college guys who choose to be homeless for six months to see if Jesus is truly everything they say He is)
“For some reason, I hardly ever admitted when things weren’t going well. Instead, I usually glossed over my struggles with an easy cliché like “it’s all good” or “hanging in there” and thought nothing of it. Psalm 34:18 says “The LORD is close to the broken-hearted.” I wonder if pretending you’re not broken keeps God at a distance.”
You need to realize your brokenness to truly understand your need for a Savior. How desperately we all need Jesus Christ in our lives and to praise God for His amazing love and power to use broken people and transform them over time to be more and more like Him. It is absolutely beautiful! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Jesus!!
Father, let me keep coming before you as the broken and sinful person we both know I am. Make me whole and new. Please, don’t let me EVER think that I can make it on my own and that I don’t need you to make me whole. Oh how I need you!! In order to be made new and whole I must constantly come before your throne and ask you to transform me to be more like Jesus. Less of me and more of YOU! Amen

Truly, the "harvest is plenty and the laborers are few"

I do not know the man that wrote this but I received it today. All I know is that I know the feeling that Chad writes about...about seeing the church playing in the river and seeing the lonely Christ all alone working in the fields and being in between him and the church. Hearing the cries of those who have not been helped or heard the good news of salvation. Please read this and share it. We need to respond...we need to take up our cross and be those that are helping Christ in the fields of the fatherless, the fields of the lost....

This has really changed me. I cannot begin to put it in words! It is long, but I PROMISE you it's worth every minute you give to read it...

Chad Taylor:
A Panoramic Vision of THE Harvest
I have had this repeated vision over and over the last 22 years since I was saved. I saw impressions of it when I walked across America in 1990 with only a sleeping bag and a "Jesus Saves" sign blazed across my backpack in neon red. I saw the vision while walking the streets of this nation's largest cities long after midnight.

It engraved itself in my consciousness as I preached on the streets of Seattle at the age of 18 with only the homeless and the gutter as my congregation. I have seen the same vision while ministering in the sultry south on the mean streets of Atlanta where racism and religion still prevail. Over and over the past 22 years this panoramic vision of "the harvest" has left its enduring mark on my soul, and finally I am to make it plain. Make it plain so that those that read it can run—run into this field the Bible calls, "The Harvest."

Vision of the Field
I saw a field going on endlessly as far as the eyes could see. It reminded me of the gravity of Abraham's vision in Genesis when God said, "Then He brought him outside and said, "Look now toward Heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them" (Genesis 15:5). That's how boundless this harvest field was. It stretched on in every direction, until it left you dizzy with the sheer magnitude of it all.

As I continued to look down the endless rows of wheat, I saw as it were a figure far off in the distance, working. The heat waves coming from the hard-packed ground made it difficult to see, so I stepped into the field to look closer. I glanced down at the furrows and rows and I noticed much of the ground was hard-packed and fallow, yet other smaller parts were dark with fertile soil and tilled. Large sections of the field that I could see from my vantage point were unharvested, and the ground showed signs of neglect—fallow, hard and dry.

I continued to walk toward the figure that I had first noticed deep in the field. I heard a peculiar sound as if it were coming from all directions. Like a distant whine or a baby crying? I stopped to listen more closely. I heard it more audibly now as I paused—it was a mournful cry, like someone weeping. As I listened more intently, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "It's the cry of the harvest; a forgotten, abandoned harvest—like a baby left discarded from its mother!"

I could clearly hear the mourning and crying from this wide harvest field as if it was crying out to be redeemed, accepted and received. I was shaken and my heart broke as I heard the pitiful cry of the harvest all around me. The words of Job sounded like a crashing cymbal in my spirit, "O earth, do not cover my blood; may my cry never be laid to rest!" (Job
16:18). This harvest of disquieted souls refused to be discounted, and their plaintive cry came before me.

Vision of the River
I continued walking and the cry from the harvest seemed to wane; it appeared that the figure in the field was now even farther away. As I continued to walk down the rows which were mostly dry and cracked, unexpectedly I caught the scent of water. I abruptly turned toward the breeze that carried the smell of fresh water wafting through the air and I began to run toward it. I pushed through row after row of heavy-laden stocks of wheat bent over and bowing low to the ground. I sprung right through one more row, and there it was—the river.
I was taken aback in this series of endless rows of grain and then, abruptly, this gurgling river. Before I could run and leap into the cold water, drinking from its welcoming shore, I looked at what was before me and I was still. In the river and along its sides were hundreds if not thousands of men, women and children jumping, swimming and laughing.

I yelled from where I was near the edge of the harvest field only a few dozen yards away, but they could not hear me. The people were deaf to my cries as if I was not even present. Didn't they see the figure working in the distance all alone? Didn't they hear the despairing cry coming from the very field that was all around them? Didn't they see the massive field that was left unattended and forgotten? Couldn't they see me just a stone's throw away, waving my hands and shouting? Some were even gazing intently into the river as if they were hypnotized by its ebb and tide. It was uncanny.

A Sudden Anguish Swept Over Me at a Revelation of the Immense Labor Left Undone
The river was so intoxicating and appealing, it took a great deal of effort not to be drawn closer by its strong allure and promise of refreshing. I was about to step in closer when the sound of crying and mourning grew louder. The cry of the harvest pierced my heart again and I turned back toward the field. I saw the lonely figure in the now-setting horizon and was determined to forge ahead.

I looked back one more time at the crowds and the river. I was amazed that they were somehow completely unaware of the vast expanse of field that surrounded them on both sides. The persistent cry of the harvest could not reach their ears; either because of the festivities or a mystery that I did not understand. I tried shouting again and pointing toward the figure alone in the field, but no one even glanced at me or heard.

A sudden anguish swept over me at a revelation of the immense labor left undone as the field stretched out for endless miles around me. Solomon, in his equally endless wisdom wrote, "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under Heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I knew beyond any doubt at this moment it was time to labor. The fields were ready. They were ripe.

I called to mind another Scripture that leapt from the pages of the Bible, "Whoever gathers in the summer is a wise son. Whoever sleeps at harvest time brings shame..." (Proverbs 10:5). Lord, never let me be put to shame!

Vision of the Headstone
I finally turned my back on the river and took in the rich harvest anew before me. Jesus' exhortation to His early disciples in Matthew 9:37-38 was now in striking clarity as I gazed out at the field, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest." I asked myself that very moment, "Lord, did I forget to pray?"

I began to walk doggedly toward the lonely figure, at times stopping because of the heat. Then unexpectedly, I stumbled upon what seemed like a stone or some kind of marker off ahead in the dirt. It looked like a carved stone or rock, apparently there for some inherent purpose. I noticed bouquets of flowers, all kinds of memorabilia and small personal items scattered around. As I drew up closer I knew what it was—a grave marker like in a cemetery, and clearly inscribed on it were the words, "The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved" (Jeremiah 8:20).

I was aghast. Below this agonizing inscription I saw specific years of the calendar etched in its stone: 1610, 1689, 1705, 1790, 1830, 1875, 1920, 1945, 1970, 1989, 2000 and so forth. Other dates were recorded below but were worn and illegible. I knew what they were—times and seasons, dates and generations where a great cycle of harvest had come upon the earth and had not been seized; a kairos moment that had come and gone.

One More Date Was Carved in the Headstone: 2020
At the very top of the marker was one more number as if it had just been cut into the stone—2020. I was cognizant in that moment that through the years of 2000 to 2020 was another divine cycle or season for the harvest of souls in the earth. We are in the middle of that cycle now in 2010. 2020 was a divine mile-marker in the world's history and also a great signpost for Heaven as well. I dropped to my knees right there in the field and cried aloud, praying, "Lord, send out laborers! Lord, here am I. Send me!"

Flowers and trinkets adorned the headstone as if generation after generation had paid homage to times past, rather than seizing the moments that they had then. Historic opportunities had come to win the world to Christ but had passed them by. I was melancholy and sad as I watched this memorial stone fade behind me while I continued to walk deeper into the field.

What I saw next was unforgettable: The headstone was now only a memory when out of the heat-waves and swaying wheat I saw an angel and a woman.

Vision of the Angel and the Woman
The woman was dressed in what appeared to be Biblical-era clothing and was gleaning in the field behind what was clearly an angel. Her faded lavender dress was laden with wheat as she filled a large basket beside her. A red sash was around her waist. I knew exactly who it was—Ruth! The Ruth I had been recently reading about and ministering from in the Bible. That vivid illustration in God's Word where Ruth followed the reapers in Boaz's field was right there before me. I remembered the Scripture in Ruth that stated, "And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers" (Ruth 2:3).

It was such a sight to see the angel a few yards ahead of her with a scythe cutting the wheat in bushels. They both worked in tandem, reaping the wheat seamlessly in a synchronized motion as if it was rehearsed. I stared in awe at this amazing sight and I knew it was prophetic; a divine message played out in this drama unfolding before me. Then the words of Jesus in Matthew added one more stroke to this masterpiece I was beholding, "The harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels" (Matthew 13:39).

Ruth is a picture of an end-time Church following the Kingdom of God into the fields of nations, preparing the way of the Lord. A time was now upon us that we would work with the angels of Heaven invisibly in the immense field that lies before this present generation. Heaven and earth would work in unprecedented unison to see it reaped.

I remembered in Jewish tradition that on every Pentecost the book of Ruth is read. On Pentecost in the Upper Room when they were waiting on the promise of the Holy Spirit's power that would take them around the world, the story of Ruth was repeated. As I stood in this vision, I saw it too. We are the Bride that would find her Boaz, her Christ, in the threshing floor of nations. That's where the lovers of God would truly be found. I prayed that He would find me there, too—in the field.

Vision of the Clouds
Abruptly and without warning, a dark cloud came down blackening the air with strange smells and acrid smoke. I was nearly blinded, my eyes watering as this strange cloud descended. It took all of my senses not to give into a sudden feeling of drowsiness; my eyes grew heavy and I could barely walk. I was like a drunken man weaving back and forth in between the rows of wheat, staggering. Voices came from somewhere in the smoke; it sounded strangely like music, and then at other times it was incoherent. I was disoriented and confused, and I desperately tried to find my way out of the cloud.

As this disturbing experience continued, a specific Scripture arrested me, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41).

I fell to my knees as this terrible smoke swirled around me, and I began to pray loudly, "Lord, here am I, send me! Lord, lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil!" As I continued praying, a breeze which transformed into a gust of wind began to blow and the cloud retreated. I knew this wind was the "Ruach HaKodesh" or the Spirit of God. This was the same wind that brought the dead bones to life in Ezekiel and the same wind that blew through the Upper Room and sent them outward to the uttermost parts of the world. It was that same Spirit which was clearing the dark smoke from the air, now giving me a clear vision of the harvest field again and the lone figure in the distance. I had my senses back.

As I looked out again at the endless rows of wheat, I saw similar dark little clouds appearing, swirling. These clouds were distractions and mirages that caused many to withdraw or to simply freeze and do nothing. I recalled another Scripture as I stood where the cloud had once been only seconds ago, and I prayed it out loud, "(God) hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the Kingdom of His dear Son!" (Colossians 1:13).

Vision of the Saints
I continued to walk now with more resolve and I began to see large patches of field already reaped in sheaves. Every hundred yards or so I would come upon another swathe of harvest that was thoroughly cut down and laying in perfect piles of sheaves bound tightly in bundles. I marveled at the harvested portions of field and wondered out loud who could have done it. I looked more closely and I saw memorial markers or capstones near the middle of these cleared out areas. I walked up to one in particular in a very large and wide harvested area, and it read simply, "Corrie Ten Boom."

I walked on further and I read another capstone in a cleared area nearby, and it read, "William and Catherine Booth." Each area of field had a small memorial to the Christian that had harvested so diligently in it. Most of the names I had never heard of before. Others I had only heard or read before in books and memoirs such as, "Jim Elliot," "Hudson Taylor," and "D.L. Moody."

I continued to walk, observing each harvested area, and finally I stopped to pray in another clearing. I prayed out loud, "Lord, let there be a small memory of my work on this earth as well. Whether it is to be read by others or not, let my short life mean something even as these others before me have." I remembered the prayer of David and I said it out loud: "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is." (Psalm 39:4)

Vision of the Lonely Christ
I stubbornly left this last patch of harvested wheat, not wanting to depart, somehow thinking that one of these great harvesters would step out of the field to meet me. No one did. I was once again drawn to the lonely sentinel that worked in the field ahead. As I focused on the personage again, it didn't seem as far as it was before. I could now make out the face and appearance. It was Jesus. He was sweating and dirty, working vigorously and tirelessly. He looked up at me and wiped the sweat from His brow, and said, "So, pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."

He had such a sad look on His face, yet I knew He was happy to see me. I had pressed on and not been deterred even by the glorious things I had glimpsed—the river, the saints before me, the angels and the woman that harvested. I had pressed into the field even beyond the frightening cloud that had tried to stop me. He spoke again, "Awake you that sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light" (Ephesians 5:14). I was awake.

I knew this was a prophetic panorama of the great harvest of humanity that Jesus had spoken of in the Bible. It was also a stark revelation of the utter lack of laborers despite over 2,000 years of enterprise. Now after all that I had seen in this vision, nothing could compare to the lonely anguished look on Jesus' face as He invited me into "the fellowship of His suffering." I remembered in the garden of Gethsemane He had asked His disciples to pray with Him in that, His darkest hour. Now, He is not only requesting us to pray with Him but to work with Him in the harvest fields of the world—the colossal expanse of human life where the more than half of earth's populations has never even heard of or extolled the name of Jesus Christ.
As this vision was ending, Jesus stopped toiling for a moment and looked back at me with a look of kindness. He handed me His threshing instrument and said almost in a whisper, "Ask of Me, and I shall give you the heathen for your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession" (Psalm 2:8).
I bowed down greatly.

Chad Taylor
Consuming Fire Ministries
Email: info@consumingfire.com

In the Arms of Jesus

When I was reflecting this morning on all the extreme storms, testing, trials, and tons of raindrop days I have been through. I caught myself smiling and being totally grateful for it all. Because all those tough times forced me into the arms of my sweet Jesus—I had forgotten how beautiful a place it is to be in His arms. How much peace comes with being wrapped in His Presence. I learned some painful lessons, but they are lessons learned and mistakes, by God’s grace and power, I will not make again.

“But God had a purpose for this heartbreak experience…and it was through this, the death of my vision, the death of my way, that He really became even more real in my life”



The above quote was in a book I read recently and it spoke so deeply to my heart I had to share it! God has a purpose and plan for every heartbreak experience we have to face during our life here on earth. Whether it is due to your own mistakes or something life throws at you—He was a plan to use it to better you! Which goes to shows that my plans are not God’s plans. God control the pen of my life story.

The AMAZING thing is that even during our short comings, our mistakes, our sinful flesh: God is good. ALL THE TIME! Honestly, He makes ALL things work together for our (those who love and put their trust in Him) good! God even uses our brokenness and turns into something beautiful! He is God. He is good. He can do what He wants when He wants how He wants. He is God and He gives life. If God is for us, who can be against us? He is alive and working on our behalf at all times. He makes all things work together for our good.

“Simply put, if you are not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can’t be my disciple” ~Luke 14:33 MSG

I have been reading tons of convicting, soul stirring books and Scripture lately. It leaves a lot on my heart and mind that I need to process through. Fill me with your Spirit Father. I’m so done with myself. I want to be over with MY will, MY dreams, MY ideas, MY plans. I want YOU! All of You!

Absolute surrender is a daily decision. I need to keep fighting. Keep pressing on. Not with my own strength and energy but with God’s. Everything that I am learning and all the resources He has given me, is going to take all summer to work and pray through. This is a summer of solitude, serving and going deeper with Jesus. Where will that bring me to? I have no idea. But I have full confidence that He will guide me to what His will for me is. He will open doors and continue to show me what His plans for my life are.

As a result of all this, my prayer for this summer after such a trial filled spring is…



God, don’t let me go back to normal. Let me keep running towards You. I don’t want to think that I can make it on my own and leave the peace and strength that I have being in Your arms. To continue keeping my gaze--my eyes fixed on my precious Jesus. I love you dearly! I adore you! You are absolutely all I want. Make me ablaze for you like never before. I want to sparkle with Christ. Showcase the radiance of Christ. To have you consuming more of my life every day! Continue to give me the wisdom, strength and energy to process and really take in all that you are showing me during this season of serving and solitude. All praise, glory and honor to the wonderful name of the Most High King!