Living Worship

Disclaimer: I wrote this blog on Sunday night, before the tragedy and heartbreak of Monday. I am trying to find the words to explain what I am feeling but right now but silent reflection and prayer has been the best healing for me. My school has had two student suicides in a week and this is the fourth teen suicide in my hometown in just four months. The suicide that happened last week broke my heart but the suicide that happened yesterday broke me. The girl was a childhood friend who I have played sports with since I was 7 and went to middle school with. I have been praying John 1:4-5 (“In Him was Life, and the Life was the Light of men. And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it”) over me and my school and it has been helping. If you could pray this too that would be incredible. Thank you. Love and Blessings, Heidi

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I am the rush of warm air from the lips of the worshiping soul. I fill the space between consonants and roll underneath the vowels of the sacred transaction between man and God. My presence separates thoughts from sounds.

I am the breath of worship.

I am more than words.

Of all the work I am given to do, none is as sweet as to carry words of love into the very ears of God. I escape the worshiper and fly straight into the heavens. Happy is the breath that finds purpose in bringing worship to God

~Enter the Worship Circle by Ben Pasley

I have been meditating on worship lately, especially on the idea of living my worship. I just re-read for the third time one of my favorite books: Enter the Worship Circle (highly recommend this book! (You can buy it online for $4.99 on www.entertheworshipcircle.com/store what a steal!!!) At the same time I am reading a new book that one of my worship leader friends (its funny how the minute you become an “official” worship leader it’s like you join some sacred club) anyways, the book is called The Heart of the Artist by Rory Noland. I am about half way through it and it is very thought provoking and is encouraging me to be the best worship leader I can be, both in my music through cultivating my gifts and pursing God.


The past five months or so, it seems like all I have been doing is leading worship in different contexts and with many different believers and at the same time studying worship. So…I thought I would start a mini blog series on Worship and share what God has been teaching me through the Bible, other books, and my own personal experiences.

Worship is a lifestyle. Kim Walker, who is a worship leader, songwriter, and one of the singers in Jesus Culture, said this about worship…

“Worship is not music, worship is not songs, those are expressions of worship. Worship is our connection to God”

Music is a glorious gift. A piece of heaven. I love reading Revelations and thinking about the day when we will worship and praise God in His throne room for ALL eternity. I cannot wait. However, here on earth, we will never be known as a worshiper if it’s just in songs. Worshipers are seen through there life, deeds, attitudes, and service to others.

Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God ~Hebrews 13:16

We sing songs, go deep into the presence of God, and receive encouragement and inspiration to keep running the great race, to accomplish our mission. The mission is to take Jesus to the streets, to live out the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20). But worship is not that we plug into Jesus then unplug for our daily lives and become completely empty and “recharge” again the following week. No, no, NO! We must constantly be connected to our Savior. Constantly be in a state of worshiping and offering all we have and letting God fill us up with His incredible love, power, and strength and providing us with all the resources of Heaven to accomplish our mission on earth.

What would worship be like if everyone came already connected to God? How deep into God’s love and presence could the Body of Christ go if we saw worship as a sacrifice offering of praise? What if we came to worship with a deep desire to want more and more of Jesus Christ? What if we, as believers, fought all week to keep our connection to God? What if we saw Saturday or Sunday’s worship as a time to strengthen the connection that we already have; not to reconnect?


God pours out so much to His beloved children. Worship is this incredible moment where we, as weak, sinful humans, can come before God and pour out all that we are in praise to Him. Only the precious blood of Jesus Christ washes us to make us able to come before God in such a way. Worthy is the Lamb who was slain! Holy, Holy is He!! (Yes, I LOVE Revelation Song—it’s my favorite worship song if you haven’t picked that up yet)

I have been praying over a few scriptures to find a good personal worship ministry verse. Something that would reflect my passion and keep my heart focused on why I lead worship. To remind myself that my passions for leading worship is not to build up my own kingdom but to advance the Kingdom of God. I want to keep growing spiritually and artistically. I want to be who I say I am. I want to live what I sing about everything weekend. One thing I have learned in my 3 years of being apart of worship ministry is that your character will be tested, challenged, and stretched, like never before.

Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name;

make known among the nations what he has done.

Sing to him, sing praise to him;

tell of all his wonderful acts.

Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.

Look to the LORD and his strength;

seek his face always.

~Psalm 105:1-4

I ended up choosing Psalm 105 as my worship ministry verse. I have memorized it and repeat it to myself before and after I lead worship, when I am picking worship songs, when I have to deal with difficult people, or when my character is being tested. I hope that convinces you to pick your own ministry verse. Whether your ministry is worship, pastoral, children, youth, women, outdoor, homeless, etc…I think it is a good idea to start praying about what your ministry verse is.

Heidi's May Update

Hello Friends, Family, Brothers and Sisters in Christ, and Stalkers (haha just kidding…),

Last weekend I had the incredible opportunity to give the sermons at my hometown church, Messiah Lutheran. Here is the video for those who asked to see it. Also, thank you for all of you who prayed for me! I felt your prayers and I felt so empowered by God to get up and proclaim boldly the Gospel.



The Good Shepherd by Heidi Johnson from Heidi Johnson on Vimeo.






Many of you asked for the video from the first time I ever preached. I was 15 years old.

Finally, sorry this took me so long to post. I know I told you I would post it like two months ago but here is my performance (with my one of my dearest friends, Savannah on piano, she is INCREDIBLE) on Good Friday singing Via Dolorosa!

Okay and a quick update on my life. I picked up all my graduation announcements this week and my senior picture wallets so I will try to start those on Monday and get them mailed out a week from today. I am going to write a letter (kind of like our family does for Christmas) to update you all in detail on my life, since you guys have all been emailing me asking for details but it is hard to write back to everyone individually. I want to say how much I love all your comments and emails of support and prayers for this crazy life journey God has me on. It means SO much! You are all such an important part of my life.

I am about to leave in a few hours for Seattle. I am heading up to Seattle Pacific University for an all day New Students Advising. I am bursting with excitement. I cannot wait to meet my future friends and classmates!! And register for Fall Quarter…Wow I cannot believe my SPU adventure is about to begin in a few months! I love any reason to make the trip to visit my new home away from home for this coming Fall.


I have two almost finished blogs in the works. The first one that I should be posting Sunday night is about Living Worship and the second one is more of an update on what God has been teaching me lately.

Here is a picture from last Wednesday's Rotary Scholarship Lunch. I received a $4,000 scholarship! I am here with two of my best friends Savannah (to the left of me) and Anna (to the right). We have been friends for a LONG time. So blessed to get to share that day with them (they both got scholarships too!!)

Love & Blessings,


Heidi

A Relentless God

Today I am rejoicing that the Bible and my own life story are not about me pursuing God. Since, my pursuit of God is inconstant, half-hearted, and crooked. However, God’s pursuit of me is a completely different story. God is everlasting, changeless, and the Great Redeemer. That is what my blog is a record of—the adventures that God takes me on while He relentlessly chases after me more and more everyday. There is absolutely NOTHING God wouldn’t do to make us HIS. On a dark Friday it leads Him to a cross. He endured hell itself because He KNOWS that we are incapable of pursuing Him like we should. Instead, in His great love, Jesus chooses to pursue us instead.

These themes and truths are so heavily on my heart this morning because I wrote a song this weekend about God’s relentless heart for pursuing us to make us HIS. The cool thing about this song (which is new style for my worship writing) is that it is in the point of view of God himself, and the bridge of the song is my (or our) response to his proposal to make us HIS. It is a beautiful song and I still get goosebumps when I sing it. The song is called Mine.

…I out of love

Took your shame

Took away your pain

So you could see

There is nothing

I wouldn’t do

To make you mine…

One of my favorite things about songwriting is not sharing your songs with your family and friends (though that is a close second), but when a song has SO much meaning to YOU that it becomes your go to worship song in your quiet times with the Lord. It makes my worship time that much sweeter when I sing a song to God that I wrote for Him.

These are the truths that I got straight out of scripture that are repeated over and over in the song.

I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is MINE ~Song of Songs 6:3

Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord ~Romans 8:34-35;37-39

Hopefully, one day you will get to hear the song. Until that day, it will just be my heart song to sing to the Lord!


Over in Ludy World (that what I call Winsor, Colorado where Eric and Leslie’s Bible College is located) they once again out did themselves in creating the most incredible short video on The Gospel EVER. It is amazing. Please take the 11 minutes out of your day to watch this. I promise it will be worth every single minute.

Until the whole world hears,

Heidi

My 2011 Easter Rap

This is what happens when, after 6 LONG weeks, this coffee addict once again has coffee flowing in her bloodstream. I wrote a rap about the Easter Story at Church. Happy Easter everyone! Christ has RISEN!


On that dark, dark day Jesus died on the cross
He looked at Satan and said Yo, I'm boss
And its hard for me to get it in my head
That Jesus Christ has risen from the dead
I wouldn't lie about this, it is way too big
It’s like getting an A in College Trig
He had holes in his hands and holes in his feet
And He is the one whose keeping this beat
It’s time for me to end this rap
But I want you to know there’s no more gap
Jesus paid the price for you and me
Death has been swallowed up in victory
Now all you have to do is just BELIEVE ~Heidi’s 2011 Easter Rap

Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ ~ 1 Corinthians 15:54b-56


I will post a more reflected post on my Holy Week Experience tomorrow. However, today I will celebrate with food, fun, and laughter with my amazing family!

P.S This is the BEST Easter ever because tonight is the DOVE AWARDS on the Gospel Music Channel. Bursting with excitement! But first there is a LOT of cooking and eating to do :)

My Journey to Seattle Pacific University and the beginning of an epic adventure!

It happened by accident really, at least in my mind it did. However, nothing ever happens by chance for a child of God. My dearest friend had left for college that fall, and my dad and I drove up to Seattle from my hometown of Vancouver, Washington to visit her. We pulled up to this small University hidden on Queen Anne Hill. It was quaint and charming. The old brick buildings were exploding with character. The massive oak trees standing straight and tall like soldiers all over the campus. The trees were overflowing with autumn’s hues. The leaves were dancing in the crisp breeze only to make their final bow by landing gracefully on the simple concrete pathway zigzagging its way throughout the school. The pathway was daring me to continue to follow. I was immediately enchanted by this school.

It was the beginning of my junior year and colleges were pressuring me to come visit their campus. That summer, I had visited countless Christian universities in California (where I was certain I wanted to move to) and not a single colleges caught my eye. I also had the revelation that Heidi Johnson and California were not even close to a perfect match.

There is no denying that I am a Northwest Girl. I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon (a 3 hour drive south on 1-5 from Seattle). I love that there is a coffee shop on every corner. I feel at home when I walk the misty streets of Portland. There is a casual swagger of the artsy, hippie, nature freaks that reside there. Portland will always be the town that will forever hold a piece of my heart. I love long hikes in the evergreen forests with my friends and skiing on the surrounding mountains standing as mighty protectors of the Northwest. I love reading on lazy, rainy Sunday afternoons by an oversized window. I love how everyone is so friendly and are not always in a rush. I love NorthFace rain jackets, running in the rain, and really good coffee. If I was going to leave home for the first time—I had to stay in the Northwest.

Here I was, at Seattle Pacific University. The presence of this place was consuming. I belonged here. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This was my second home. Not only did I feel at home at this campus but I strongly felt God moving in and around this campus. (Now keep in mind I had only been on campus for a minute or two) I looked around and noticed that every lamp post boldly proclaimed, “The place where world change begins” and “Engaging the Culture, Changing the World”. I was dumbfounded. This cannot be real, I thought.

Since my freshman year in high school, I made my life motto “Changing the world one heart at a time”. I barely was able to say, “Dad…this school—this is the one”.

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With anything that seems almost too good to be true, there was a catch. This dream school has a price tag of $41,000 a year. Nevertheless, God has been providing even when I didn’t realize it. I am in a program where I go to community college starting my junior year full time and receive college and high school credit. This program saved me two years of college.

Do not let money be the roadblock that keeps you from following God’s will in your life. God funds what He favors. If it is God’s will, it is God’s bill. These are some of the promises God has been asking me to hold on to. I am close to going to Seattle Pacific University without having to take out any student loans. I know that God is going to provide all the finances I need to make this happen. I will make sure to let you know when and how that happens!

Next fall, I will be living in my second home. I will be a Seattle Pacific Falcon. I am excited to start as a junior majoring in Communications and a minor in Worship and Music Ministry.

I promised my family and friends, I would make my choice official on my blog and give a little backstory to my choice. However, it is not my decision. God has made it extremely clear and obvious that this is where He is calling me. I have begun to dream about my dorm room and pray for my future roommate. Thank you for all your prayers and support while I was praying through this decision. Your prayers were felt and your support was encouraging.

Heart Strings

As I was organizing files on my laptop (Yes, you know it’s 2011 when Spring Cleaning includes organizing and cleaning files and folders on your laptop) I found a blog I wrote in early February, but somehow never posted. I have just gotten back from a 10 day vacation with my family where I turned off my cell, left the laptop at home (no facebook or blog world), and never went close to a TV. Cannot wait to share that adventure with you and some of the things God revealed to me and open my eyes to when I abandoned life’s everyday distractions. I’m working on it!


This blog was titled in my laptop “Heart Strings”. Enjoy!

I always write the best songs deep into the silence of the night. When it is just me and the Lord. When I lay my brokenness and disappointments before Him. And instead pick up the promises I KNOW to be true. Last night, as I was crying out to the Lord, I picked up my guitar trying to some how deal with the craziness and brokenness of life that was burdening my heart. As I started to strum random chords these lyrics came pouring out of my soul…"I know you are for me Lord…Even when I can't see through this storm…I know you're here…I may have more questions than answers…But life’s a mystery to be lived instead of solved...”

I sang those same lyrics over and over again, and that peace that truly does pass all understanding (Phil 4:7) came flooding into my heart. Mending the brokenness. Dulling the pains of life. My friends, all you have to do is hold on to the promises and the truths that are written so clearly in the Bible. The Bible is our love letter, our manual, written from the desk of our Lord.

Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart" ~Psalm 27:14

In this world you will have hardships, trials, and sorrows. But do not lose heart, I have overcome the world ~John 16:33

Jesus, I want more of YOU! Even if it means hard decisions, sleepless nights, tear stained journal entries, and seemingly broken dreams. You are BIGGER than our situations. You are bigger than the world I feel trapped in some days. You have overcome it and you give me the power, courage, strength and grace to overcome it too.

Jesus never promises us that life will be easy. Actually, He promises the opposite. The truth is walking with God doesn’t mean a life without problems but a life overcoming problems. I will not be defeated or discouraged. Jesus Christ is always Victor.

I haven’t ended my blog with a Ludy quote in awhile. I could easily start and end every blog with a quote from either Leslie or Eric. Nevertheless, I have been trying really hard not too. However, tonight I could not say the following any better than Eric Ludy…

“What is a movie without conflict? Where’s the drama without a mountain of impossibility to climb? The very thing that makes for an exciting story is the same thing that makes for a wonderful and amazing life: overcoming the impossible. For life to be fully lived, it must wrestle the impossible and win. For life to be fully lived, the God of the Impossible must be fully trusted with the writing of the script. God wants to blow our minds with His crazy plot turns and last-minute heroics”

Continuing Down the Narrow Path

Brooke Fraser and Kari Jobe are serenading me tonight. Everything around me is still and peaceful. My worship favorites are gracefully dancing around the room. Making my tiny bedroom seem like sacred ground. The Lord has entered. His presense is thick in my room. Everyone is asleep and it is just me and the LORD tonight. I am beyond excited because after almost two months with out blogging, I have finally felt God call me to once again give an update on this beautifully, chaotic life of mine. I never write a blog just for the sake of posting a blog. In the beginning when I created this blog I promised God that this would be His outlet to use through me. I wouldn’t write anything unless He spoke on my heart to do so. These past two months, God has had me focus all my free time on seeking and worshiping Him. It has been truly mind blowing and God has captivated my heart even more than before. I have gone deeper into the endless frontier of God and grown stronger in my relationship with Him.

Here a mere glance into what I God has been teaching me lately….

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps ~Proverbs 16:9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and do not depend on your own understanding ~Proverbs 3:5

May 1st. It is the ugly little date for me. No, I don’t have anything against May Day. But, I am not looking forward to National Reply Deadline. For most colleges, May 1st is the deadline to send in your deposit saying that this is where you will be attending in the fall. Prayers for wisdom and guidance would be SO appreciative. I think God is calling me to Seattle Pacific University. It is an incredible private (and small) Christian school hidden away on Queen Ann Hill. I’m not convinced it’s not my future. Not convinced that it is. That is the tricky thing about surrendering your life to Christ. It is not up to you to decided or be convinced. So where will I be going to school in the fall or what is my 5 year plan? Well…just like everything else in my life: where ever God wants me to go.

The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way? ~Proverbs 20:24


I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps ~Jeremiah 10:23

I keep trying to figure out the new horizons that God is leading me into. I keep trying to fit my future into spreadsheets and To-Do-Lists. But life and especially the future doesn’t fit well in those. It is best to leave them at the feet of our Sovereign Lord.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think ~Ephesians 3:20

My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned to me by the LORD Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God ~Acts 20:24

I want to make it clear that I know what my purpose is in life. Everyone’s purpose as a follower of Jesus Christ is to spread the Good News, the Gospel, to everyone and make disciples of ALL nations. That is our commission spoken from the mouth of Jesus Christ in Matthew 28: 16-20. I love this! The fact that the last thing Jesus does before going up into Heaven is to give us our purpose for being on earth. I am even MORE in love with Acts 20:24, when Paul says his life is worthless if his life’s purpose is not the Great Commission. The same is true with our lives. Anything we do that is outside of our purpose for being on earth is worthless. Our lives need to be constantly being poured out on worshiping our Sovereign Lord and spreading the Good News.

I do not know my specific calling for this purpose yet. I do not know if God wants me to fulfill my purpose of the Great Commission by being a Worship Pastor, a missionary, start my own non-profit, be a stay at home mom, a Pastor or a Pastor’s wife…etc. God has yet to reveal that to me. However, God has told me that He has planned for me something that I cannot accomplish in my own strength. Ephesians 3:20 says that God has something planned for us that is beyond our wildest dreams. But we can not accomplish or take on this task without HIS power and strength working through us.

Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart ~Psalm 27:14


As I wait on the Lord for my specific life calling for the future; I do know my life calling right now. I love the saying “bloom where you’re planted”. You can lead people to Christ right in your hometown. There are broken, hurting, and lost people in every city, country, and continent on this planet. And do not let Satan try to deceive you and tell you otherwise. You can fulfill your purpose today! Pray and ask God to reveal to you people who need to be reminded or told for the first time about His amazing grace and everlasting love.

I had the privilege this winter to coach basketball at my local Boy’s and Girl’s Club. It was pure joy. I had a blast loving and teaching these precious children about basketball but more importantly how to be good people. The kids at the Boy’s and Girls club have seen heartbreak, pain, brokenness, abuse, and other horrific things that most children don’t. However, for two and a half months I got pour out my life on these kids and say with my words and actions, “You are important to me”. Now I know that that doesn’t make the brokenness of their family situations go away but they do get a glance into the eyes of Jesus. To see the radiant colors of unconditional love through me. I love these kids and do everything I possible can to show them love because, “Christ love compels me” (2 Corinth. 5:14). Remember, that we are the hands and feet of Jesus to those around us. I beg you tonight to not let the people God has placed in your life to leave your presence without feeling like the encountered Jesus.

So much is happening in my life this spring and I am dedicated (God-willing) to be better about blogging and bringing you along on this crazy adventure God has me on. My prayer, as always, is that opening up and sharing my life with you encourages you on your own adventure with Christ. We are all in this together. Okay…I know super cheesy to quote High School Musical but I couldn’t help myself…hehe. I have felt led to post my thoughts and what God has been teaching me about Worship which hopefully will be posted later this week. I am praying for all my friends and brother and sisters in the faith around the world who stumble upon this blog.

Love and Blessings,
Heidi